Wednesday, 24 September 2014

Feature Post: Types of Gossip I know

Some weeks back When i read this post on Sisi Yemmie's blog ,it was so glaring she knew it all. She sabi am wella. Infact, i realized there are other kinds of gossip i know aside hers(i.e the ones she listed; read on) which prompted me to publish this post. Enjoy!!!

Something happened a few days ago that made me realize how much gossip has eaten into us; and we don’t even know it! Before I go on, I am not a saint, I don gossip wella but these days I have a constant reminder in my head about the type of conversations I have, I always find myself asking: Is this gossip? Can I say this face to face with the person I am talking about? I don't always win but I try to refrain from malicious gossip. There's a difference between just having a normal conversation about someone and deliberately saying unkind things about them. There are so many kinds of gossips but I feel these are 5 types that I am familiar with:

Gbeborun Nigeria Limited: These ones are well known gossips, there's no shame in their game.Whatever they know will be spread like wildfire. You want anybody's gist? Ask them! How they find these stories about people I don't know but they always do. And they have facts and figures, this is not moin-moin gossip oh. These are the types that will confront you with your own gist...dem nor dey fear face. Who you be??!
Chameleon Gossip – These types love amebo but doing it so casually: they are masters of the craft and I always carry yansh for dem. You find them saying things like “I want to advice you to be a better person so that your life will be better. For example Mr A is poor, he only buys indomie hungry man pack, his mother in law even abuses him, the other day I even saw that his trouser was torn on the side, and sometimes he smells... but I don’t want you to be like that, that’s why I’m advising you”. Elejo wewe…who asked for advice? Shior.
Sly Gossip – I actually think this is one of the worst kinds of gossips because you think they are friends, you think they are looking out for you, meanwhile dem just dey build ammunition for their aproko work. They often ask personal questions that they have no business knowing about. They coax you, “babe talk to me, what is the matter, I can help, a problem half shared is solved” and you sef thinking you’ve found a caring person will just be downloading data. You usually don’t catch them until something major happens and you begin to trace who said what.
Elejowewe Gossip – These ones don’t know you, but can tell you almost everything about yourself. Na dem dey comment on gossip blogs pass, they are like virus, they just go somewhere and corrupt it. They pass on false stories as if dem dey there and dish it out with so much authority… This is the typical demsay demsay. They are easy to spot, dem get everybody gist inside their head, like dictionary. The difference between this one and Gbeborun Nigeria Limited is Gbeborun gives you facts, these ones just jump to conclusions and pass it around. How do you come to such conclusions about people ? I'd like to say amebo nor be work...but na work these days oh.
Brethren Gossip - This one na for religious places dem dey find am. So Sister Emily says to Sister Patience and co " I want us to pray about sister Faith, she kinikan this, she kinikan that, she carry cocaine but no one knows, she's a runs babes, I'm not saying this to bad mouth her oh, just saying it so we can pray for her"...LOL. Ok. Oshe prayer warrior. I experienced this once and I was taken aback...did sister Faith request that you table her matter like this in front of everybody? In her absence?
Now, let me add to The kind of gossip I (Deb) know:
BBM Gossip: These category of people are bigtime backstabbers, they'd be in the same room with you but them dey kill you. The thing you'd see them do most times is just laugh unnecessarily or call themselves for no reason but na all that one na side attraction, they are doing what they enjoy on BBM. Their's is more or less like satellite, they are good in passing message immediately to their partner in crime if she isn't around. They take it as some real businesss.

Coded Gossip: These kind of people are always in a gathering, once they see someone step into the room, they'd just give themselves eye, some would cough for no reason or act as if them dey clear their throat but na lie!. They've got different ways in doing it and na only them sabi their tactics.
 The other kind of Coded gossip i know, these ones would be in the same gathering/room with you, they could be gossiping about someone you know right where you are but would never mention the person's name. Its only a smart person who listens to their conversation and try to figure out the person behind the story that would know "whatz up".

Some of us recognize these gossips, some of these gossips are us. To gossip is easy, another pesin matter dey always sweet to gist, I tell you. However, it ruins a lot. It ruins relationships –all kinds. Watch yourself…don’t be it, and don’t be dragged into it. Like I said I try not to be dragged into the elejowewe club but social media doesn't help. LOL

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