Dictionary and Thesaurus defined CONFIDENCE as a full trust, believe in the powers, trustworthiness or reliability of a person or thing. It also defines SELF as a person or thing referred to in respect to complete individuality. Adding both together I am defining SELF-CONFIDENCE as the realistic trust and believe in the power, trustworthiness and judgment of one’s self.
Most youths and adults out there are not living their dreams because of their lack of confidence, quote me anywhere without believing in your abilities, you can’t reach the pinnacle you plan/dream to reach. A friend of mine once told me that the different between Adam Johnson of Sunderland and Lionel Messi of Barcelona is the presence confidence in one more than the other. Watching Adam play gives as much delight as watching Messi play but one thing Messi’s got is confidence. I heard Messi’s interview on BLITZ years back and he said “whenever I am on the ball and I see a player running towards me, I say to myself I can beat him, he will fall for my tricks, I am going to get past him and to my surprise I will find myself past him” that is just confidence. I am not surprised Lionel is the greatest footballer alive at the moment, he was sure he would get past any opponent, Lionel met failure with injuries on injuries earlier in his carrier but he did not let that one stop him from dribbling. He won the battle against injury due to his persistent and refusal to give up. I saw the Pre Olympics 100m finals interview, I will point out Usain Bolt and Yohan Blake’s interviews. Usain was so confident of retaining his gold medal despite losing to Yohan in the Olympics trial, he said “I already to Yohan to forget the gold medal’ I was like ‘Please!!!! Why is this Usain so proud sef?’ but my brother replied ‘he is not proud, he is just confident of his abilities’ After listening to Yohan’s interview I knew he had lost all hope of winning the gold medal, all he could say was I will try my best, I beat him once, I can do it again but the certainty was lacking in his voice. No wonder he came second.
Note this, if you don’t believe in yourself who will, if you don’t have faith in your abilities you cannot do anything 100%. I prepared some tips on how to boost your self-confidence.
1. Know Your Worth: - Take a good time to look at yourself, what you have achieved so far, it is expedient for you to know your worth, what you have achieved so far, this is a huge confidence booster. Pick a sheet of paper and write down the tasks you have conquered successfully , and you will be surprised how much this will boost your confidence. A man who knows his worth will never settle for less. Photoshop your image with your mental Photoshoping skills, make it look like how you want it, build you into who you want you to be, a successful legal practitioner, a mega business tycoon, a medical doctor, a Grammy award winning musician and anything you dream to be.
I once read the story of a Branch Manager who made his company to lose over five million dollars due to a risk he took, while being questioned by the board of directors, he begged them not to terminate his appointment, he promised to make up for the loss with the annual expected gain of the company met and the extra five million dollars he lost the previous business year, if the company would give him twelve months , the B.O.D called him crazy but after he left all his fortune as a guarantee, the BOD decided to give him a chance. Fast forwards twelve months he met his target and even a record breaking profit earned for the company. When interviewed on how he did it, he said ‘I know what I can do, I know how successful I have been in the business world, I knew what happened last year was a mistake, I knew I had to do something different from last year.’ When asked how he knew he was going make that much profit and if he was scared, he said “Yes I was scared, I was scared to my bones but I have confidence in myself and my abilities, I know my history, I know how successful I have been in the business world and one mistake cannot take away all my previous successes and achievements. That is what kept me going.’
This Mr Branch Manager was confident of his abilities, for weeks I could not stop wondering, what if he failed, but this man did not allow his mistake to take him down, just as Lionel Messi did not allow his injuries to stop him from running to meet his opponent just to dribble them and that is why he is a winner today. Note this, what happened in the past is in the past, it is gone, throw them away and start afresh. Forget the past and start taking steps towards a brighter future.
2. Stop Limiting and Looking Down On Yourself: - I once went to a tutorial class with this classy, beautiful and intelligent girl, she was like the star of the class. I have this clique in the class, Bella Tayo and I. Bella is this outspoken and loud person and she would get this girl to hang out with us.
I noticed my friend Tayo is always dumb and numb whenever this girl is around us. Annoyed I asked ‘Dude what is your problem?’ and he replied ‘Oga free me abeg, what do you want ,me to say to such a pretty, classy and scrumptious girl.’ That was when it hits me, this boy has low self-esteem. Pissed I yelled at him ‘Oga, stop limiting yourself, she is just a girl like every other girl out there’. It was when Tayo built up his confidence that he discover she is just a girl like every girl around, they even got to date each other later on.
Until you stop limiting you, you won’t know this task ahead of you is just a little thing, those guys that are going to interview you are humans like you, that lecturer is human, that girl is just a girl under those clothes. Philippians 4:13 said I can do all things through Christ that strengthens me. Stop criticizing your looks, your body shape, your ability, your personality all this things will kill your confidence. Say this to you every morning I AM A SUCCESS STORY, I CAN DO ANYTHING, TODAY I WILL TAKE CHANCES, TODAY I WILL BE A SUCCESS, TODAY I WILL NOT FEEL INFERIOR, TODAY MY SELF ESTEEM WILL TAKE A MASSIVE BOOST. These will help you in building your confidence. Be kind to yourself, respect yourself.
3. Take Control Of Your Environment: - You can’t choose your family, you can’t choose how rich they are, how cute a person can be, you can’t choose the way you look, how people love you and a lot of things. The only way you can control your environment is to take charge of it, My family is not as rich as the Gates, Hiltons or the Trumps but I won’t exchange them for the world. You have to accept what you are and start using it to your advantage. Your family or your father’s wealth does not define you; take charge of your life. Take Mr President GEJ as an example, he had no shoes growing up yet he changed his story to become Nigeria’s no 1 citizen. You are the only person you can control you, once you start taking control of the things around you, you feel more powerful with being in control of your environment, that preps you for a bigger task and when you discover how much influence you have on what happens around you, you will be surprised on how much of a confidence booster that is.
4. Set A Goal:- Having a dream, a goal and a vision could help boost your confidence, you are sure of where you are going, what the end result will be and all, here is the gist, the completion of a task boosts the confidence for a bigger one. I remembered when I started reading novels I would set a target on reading a novel, from 48hours to 24 hours until I successfully set a record of 6hours, 24mins and 37secs in finishing Sidney Sheldon’s Tell me your dreams. Since then I could finish any book no matter how big it is.
Set little goals for yourself, something like weekly and daily targets, when you successfully meet your target it will boost your confidence. Know this when you fail in your target, locate those things that you did wrong and those you did not do and attack the goal again am positive you will make it. It is like playing super Mario, when you lose, you start again taking into mind the mistakes you have made before and you are more confident in your approach this time because you know where danger is. That confidence is just what will take you to success and will boost your self-confidence and this will help you set up a bigger target and winning it.
5. Just Do It: - Going back to Tayo’s story, the day he was to talk to the girl, I told him to just go and do it. Think of the best possible result, the good end result will boost your confidence. You have an interview and you are scared, just do it, say that which is on your mind. If you read my article on the treasure in you, a guide to discovering your true potentials (ifedayoadekeye.blogspot.com/2012/08/the-treasure-in-you.html?m=1 ), I did mention that there are lots of potentials in you that until you just go for it and take a risk, you will not know you could do them. Risk takers control the world’s economy. Taking risks and winning is a huge confidence boost.
6. Accept Responsibility For Your Failure:- When you are planning a task, prepare for the rainy day, accept responsibility for your failure when you fail, don’t blame nobody for it, notice that thing that you have done wrong and start making sure you don’t do those things anymore. The branch manager I told his story earlier, he took responsibility for the failure of his company, and he took it as a confidence booster. When you fail and you take responsibility for your failure, it will be a booster for you because it will make you know what you have done wrong. When you shoulder all the blame, don’t let it take you down, let it be a lesson for you and you will be more confident in attacking the task again. When you fail an exam, take responsibility for your failure, stop blaming your friends or your lecturer; say to yourself, I have done this before, so I will do it better this time.
7. Be Positive:- Positive words are such a huge confidence booster, I learnt this from Ifedolapo my baby brother, the first thing he says every morning is ‘Today is going to be a good day, I will be successful, I will be a step higher than I am right now by the end of today.’ This boy talks positive before doing anything. I remember when we were playing FIFA the other day before a game he would soliloquize ‘I will beat Ifedayo today, I will learn how to score better, I will utilize my chances better’. Before exams, interviews and all, work on your confidence by repeating positive statements you will be surprised how much this helps.
8. Have A Backup Plan: - The knowledge of you having a backup plan is a huge confidence booster, my friend Joe would say, have plan a-z so when one fails, another is there to fall back on. When you know you have a go-to option, your confidence will be on 100% for the task ahead.
9. Create Scenes Of Your End Result And Happiness:- When you are facing a task, paint an image of how it will be after you have succeeded. Imagine the advantages and all; this will boost your confidence
10. Learn From The Experts: - Buy a book that talks about confidence, attend talk shows and all. Joel Osteen and Brain Tracy have good books on how to grow your confidence.
11. Break Your Tasks Into Smaller Pieces: - If you have a task ahead of you, break it into smaller pieces, this is expedient because your confidence may not be huge/developed enough to tackle it all at the same time. Therefore break them into smaller pieces, the success of each piece is a huge confidence booster. For example if you want to write a novel and you feel its huge, break it into smaller pieces or start by writing short stories and by the time you have written at least seven stories, you will see writing as a small job and you are set for your novel.
12. Mix with Positive People: - Interact with people that will positively inspire you during conversations, with their acts and all. Negative company will always reduce your confidence. My friend Stacia will never tell you that you cannot do anything, to her the impossible is possible, that is why I adore and respect her, she always applauds my little efforts and that is a huge confidence booster.
13. Dress Nicely: - it funny how confident one feels when we are nicely and responsibly dressed. When I was in the university, I always feel powerful in my white and black law outfit. You may not have the most expensive clothes and all but make sure they are neat, ironed and in style and you will be amazed how much of a confidence booster that is.
14. Get To Know Yourself:- You can do this by start keeping a journal. I know more about me me than anybody in the world. Occasionally I ask people around me about me and when I discover my flaws, work on them. The feeling of working out my imperfection boosts my confidence
15. Smile: - Smiling makes you feel in control, it boost your confidence.
16. Stop Procrastinating: - when you make a to-do list, make sure you do it all; it helps in boosting your confidence.
17. Divine intervention:- seek divine help from God, when you seek this supernatural help, Two things happen
· A supernatural being and power is helping you succeed and boost your confidence
· Your mind will program itself to believe you are not alone in your fight, it will want to do its best because you are not alone in your cause and that with the divine assistance, success is guaranteed to your quest