Dictionary and Thesaurus defined CONFIDENCE as a full trust, believe in the powers, trustworthiness
or reliability of a person or thing. It also defines SELF as a person or thing referred to in respect to complete
individuality. Adding both together I am
defining SELF-CONFIDENCE as the
realistic trust and believe in the power, trustworthiness and judgment of one’s
self.
Most youths and adults out there are not living their dreams
because of their lack of confidence, quote me anywhere without believing in
your abilities, you can’t reach the pinnacle you plan/dream to reach. A friend
of mine once told me that the different between Adam Johnson of Sunderland and
Lionel Messi of Barcelona is the presence confidence in one more than the
other. Watching Adam play gives as much delight as watching Messi play but one
thing Messi’s got is confidence. I heard Messi’s interview on BLITZ years back
and he said “whenever I am on the ball and I see a player running towards me, I say
to myself I can beat him, he will fall for my tricks, I am going to get past
him and to my surprise I will find myself past him” that is just
confidence. I am not surprised
Lionel is the greatest footballer alive at the moment, he was sure he would get
past any opponent, Lionel met failure with injuries on injuries earlier in his
carrier but he did not let that one stop him from dribbling. He won the battle
against injury due to his persistent and refusal to give up. I saw the Pre Olympics
100m finals interview, I will point out Usain Bolt and Yohan Blake’s
interviews. Usain was so confident of retaining his gold medal despite losing to
Yohan in the Olympics trial, he said “I already to Yohan to forget the gold medal’
I was like ‘Please!!!! Why is this Usain so proud sef?’ but my brother
replied ‘he is not proud, he is just confident of his abilities’ After listening
to Yohan’s interview I knew he had lost all hope of winning the gold medal, all
he could say was I will try my best, I beat him once, I can do it again but the
certainty was lacking in his voice. No wonder he came second.
Note this, if you don’t believe in yourself who will, if you
don’t have faith in your abilities you cannot do anything 100%. I prepared some
tips on how to boost your self-confidence.
1.
Know
Your Worth: - Take a good time to look at yourself, what you have achieved
so far, it is expedient for you to know your worth, what you have achieved so
far, this is a huge confidence booster. Pick a sheet of paper and write down
the tasks you have conquered successfully
, and you will be surprised how much
this will boost your confidence. A man who knows his worth will never settle
for less. Photoshop your image with your mental Photoshoping skills, make it
look like how you want it, build you into who you want you to be, a successful
legal practitioner, a mega business tycoon, a medical doctor, a Grammy award
winning musician and anything you dream to be.
I once read the story of a Branch Manager who made his company to lose
over five million dollars due to a risk he took, while being questioned by the
board of directors, he begged them not to terminate his appointment, he promised
to make up for the loss with the annual expected gain of the company met and
the extra five million dollars he lost the previous business year, if the
company would give him twelve months , the B.O.D called him crazy but after he
left all his fortune as a guarantee, the BOD decided to give him a chance. Fast
forwards twelve months he met his target and even a record breaking profit
earned for the company. When interviewed on how he did it, he said ‘I
know what I can do, I know how successful I have been in the business world, I
knew what happened last year was a mistake, I knew I had to do something
different from last year.’ When asked how he knew he was going make
that much profit and if he was scared, he said “Yes I was scared, I was scared to
my bones but I have confidence in myself and my abilities, I know my history, I
know how successful I have been in the business world and one mistake cannot
take away all my previous successes and achievements. That is what kept me
going.’
This Mr Branch Manager was confident of his abilities, for weeks I could
not stop wondering, what if he failed, but this man did not allow his mistake
to take him down, just as Lionel Messi did not allow his injuries to stop him
from running to meet his opponent just to dribble them and that is why he is a
winner today. Note this, what happened in the past is in the past, it is gone, throw
them away and start afresh. Forget the past and start taking steps towards a
brighter future.
2.
Stop
Limiting and Looking Down On Yourself: - I once went to a tutorial class
with this classy, beautiful and intelligent girl, she was like the star of the
class. I have this clique in the class, Bella Tayo and I. Bella is this
outspoken and loud person and she would get this girl to hang out with us.
I noticed my friend Tayo is always dumb and numb whenever this girl is
around us. Annoyed I asked ‘Dude what is your problem?’ and he
replied ‘Oga free me abeg, what do you want ,me to say to such a pretty, classy
and scrumptious girl.’ That was when it hits me, this boy has low self-esteem.
Pissed I yelled at him ‘Oga, stop limiting yourself, she is just a
girl like every other girl out there’. It was when Tayo built up his
confidence that he discover she is just a girl like every girl around, they even
got to date each other later on.
Until you stop limiting you, you won’t know this task ahead of you is
just a little thing, those guys that are going to interview you are humans like
you, that lecturer is human, that girl is just a girl under those clothes. Philippians
4:13 said I can do all things through Christ that strengthens me. Stop
criticizing your looks, your body shape, your ability, your personality all
this things will kill your confidence. Say this to you every morning I AM A SUCCESS STORY, I CAN DO ANYTHING,
TODAY I WILL TAKE CHANCES, TODAY I WILL BE A SUCCESS, TODAY I WILL NOT FEEL
INFERIOR, TODAY MY SELF ESTEEM WILL TAKE A MASSIVE BOOST. These will help
you in building your confidence. Be kind to yourself, respect yourself.
3.
Take
Control Of Your Environment: - You can’t choose your family, you can’t
choose how rich they are, how cute a person can be, you can’t choose the way
you look, how people love you and a lot of things. The only way you can control
your environment is to take charge of it, My family is not as rich as the Gates, Hiltons
or the Trumps but I won’t exchange them for the world. You have to accept what
you are and start using it to your advantage. Your family or your father’s
wealth does not define you; take charge of your life. Take Mr President GEJ as
an example, he had no shoes growing up yet he changed his story to become
Nigeria’s no 1 citizen. You are the only person you can control you, once you
start taking control of the things around you, you feel more powerful with being
in control of your environment, that preps you for a bigger task and when you
discover how much influence you have on what happens around you, you will be
surprised on how much of a confidence booster that is.
4.
Set A
Goal:- Having a dream, a goal and a vision could help boost your
confidence, you are sure of where you are going, what the end result will be
and all, here is the gist, the completion of a task boosts the confidence for a
bigger one. I remembered when I started reading novels I would set a target on
reading a novel, from 48hours to 24 hours until I successfully set a record of
6hours, 24mins and 37secs in finishing Sidney Sheldon’s Tell me your dreams.
Since then I could finish any book no matter how big it is.
Set little goals for yourself, something like weekly and daily targets,
when you successfully meet your target it will boost your confidence. Know this
when you fail in your target, locate those things that you did wrong and those
you did not do and attack the goal again am positive you will make it. It is
like playing super Mario, when you lose, you start again taking into mind the
mistakes you have made before and you are more confident in your approach this
time because you know where danger is. That confidence is just what will take
you to success and will boost your self-confidence and this will help you set
up a bigger target and winning it.
5.
Just
Do It: - Going back to Tayo’s story, the day he was to talk to the girl, I
told him to just go and do it. Think of the best possible result, the good end
result will boost your confidence. You have an interview and you are scared,
just do it, say that which is on your mind. If you read my article on the
treasure in you, a guide to discovering your true potentials (ifedayoadekeye.blogspot.com/2012/08/the-treasure-in-you.html?m=1
), I did mention that there are lots of potentials in you that until you just go
for it and take a risk, you will not know you could do them. Risk takers
control the world’s economy. Taking risks and winning is a huge confidence
boost.
6.
Accept
Responsibility For Your Failure:- When you are planning a task, prepare for
the rainy day, accept responsibility for your failure when you fail, don’t
blame nobody for it, notice that thing that you have done wrong and start
making sure you don’t do those things anymore. The branch manager I told his
story earlier, he took responsibility for the failure of his company, and he
took it as a confidence booster. When you fail and you take responsibility for
your failure, it will be a booster for you because it will make you know what
you have done wrong. When you shoulder all the blame, don’t let it take you
down, let it be a lesson for you and you will be more confident in attacking
the task again. When you fail an exam, take responsibility for your failure,
stop blaming your friends or your lecturer; say to yourself, I have done this
before, so I will do it better this time.
7.
Be
Positive:- Positive words are such a huge confidence booster, I learnt this
from Ifedolapo my baby brother, the first thing he says every morning is ‘Today
is going to be a good day, I will be successful, I will be a step higher than I
am right now by the end of today.’ This boy talks positive before doing
anything. I remember when we were playing FIFA the other day before a game he would
soliloquize ‘I will beat Ifedayo today, I will learn how to score better, I will
utilize my chances better’. Before exams, interviews and all, work on
your confidence by repeating positive statements you will be surprised how much
this helps.
8.
Have
A Backup Plan: - The knowledge of you having a backup plan is a huge
confidence booster, my friend Joe would say, have plan a-z so when one fails,
another is there to fall back on. When you know you have a go-to option, your
confidence will be on 100% for the task ahead.
9.
Create
Scenes Of Your End Result And Happiness:- When you are facing a task, paint
an image of how it will be after you have succeeded. Imagine the advantages and
all; this will boost your confidence
10.
Learn
From The Experts: - Buy a book that talks about confidence, attend talk
shows and all. Joel Osteen and Brain Tracy have good books on how to grow your
confidence.
11.
Break
Your Tasks Into Smaller Pieces: - If you have a task ahead of you, break it
into smaller pieces, this is expedient because your confidence may not be
huge/developed enough to tackle it all at the same time. Therefore break them
into smaller pieces, the success of each piece is a huge confidence booster.
For example if you want to write a novel
and you feel its huge, break it into smaller pieces or start by writing
short stories and by the time you have written at least seven stories, you will
see writing as a small job and you are set for your novel.
12.
Mix with
Positive People: - Interact with people that will positively inspire you
during conversations, with their acts and all. Negative company will always
reduce your confidence. My friend Stacia will never tell you that you cannot do
anything, to her the impossible is possible, that is why I adore and respect
her, she always applauds my little efforts and that is a huge confidence booster.
13.
Dress
Nicely: - it funny how confident one feels when we are nicely and responsibly
dressed. When I was in the university, I always feel powerful in my white and
black law outfit. You may not have the most expensive clothes and all but make
sure they are neat, ironed and in style and you will be amazed how much of a
confidence booster that is.
14.
Get
To Know Yourself:- You can do this by start keeping a journal. I know more
about me me than anybody in the world. Occasionally I ask people around me
about me and when I discover my flaws, work on them. The feeling of working out
my imperfection boosts my confidence
15.
Smile:
- Smiling makes you feel in control, it boost your confidence.
16.
Stop
Procrastinating: - when you make a to-do list, make sure you do it all; it
helps in boosting your confidence.
17.
Divine
intervention:- seek divine
help from God, when you seek this supernatural help, Two things happen
·
A
supernatural being and power is helping you succeed and boost your confidence
·
Your
mind will program itself to believe you are not alone in your fight, it will
want to do its best because you are not alone in your cause and that with the
divine assistance, success is guaranteed to your quest
That boy wasn’t standing and just watching for no reason. He had a lot of
things going on within him(his mind). To justify my thoughts, I drew a friend’s
attention to it by showing her the little boy behind and her comment was same
thing with what I had in mind.
