Wednesday, 25 November 2015

NYSC Orientation Camp Experience : EBONYI State

I wouldn't forgive myself if I don't upload the crazy  experience I had at the NYSC orientation camp,  afikpo North,  Ebonyi state to be precise(LOL). .
My experience at the orientation camp  is just to let you know reality and get you off the fairy tale /liesssssss that "orientation camp is fun ". 
Yes!  Orientation camp could be fun in Lagos,  Ogun,  Oyo ,  Abuja,  I heard of portharcourt and Akwa Ibom(dunno how genuine the info is) . 
If you think same is applied to ebonyi state,  scratch that off your head and get geared up for the opposite part of fun. 
The opposite part of fun woulda been better only if the military men didn't  pour Sandsand in someone's garri
I'd give you details on the little research I made before camp, how my 21 days experience during the orientation was and life after campaign .
I was surprised when my friend actually told me I was posted to ebonyi (cos I was busy at work) ......  I totally forgot that place existed,  thank God for the state and capital recitation I did back then in primary school (sure we all recited that.  LoL).  Next thing I did was make findings on the distance from Lagos to ebonyi. 
I was born and bred in lag,  my first trip to the east shouldn't be a terrific one.  I Learnt it's a 9 hour journey to afikpo North,  It's OK for a road trip I thought but that was just one of those lies.  The estimated distance from lagos to ebonyi is 10 -  12 hours (Roger that!).  It all depends on the driver cos mine stopped at almost every T  Junction asking for the right direction.  That day was something else. 
For first timers,  I'd advice you go to the nearest Park and check out for Okeyson (I wasn't paid to do this ).  Trust me,  they have a park close to the NYSC camp and might consider driving  you to the orientation camp if majority of the occupants in the bus are prospective corpers.  Left lagos past 9am, got to ebonyi state some few minutes past 11pm.
Welcome Party
We were so famished and tired to the mouth that as we struggled to drag our luggage,  we totally ignored the military men at their security stand(Did we even see them? ).  That was the biggest mistake ever. The next thing I heard was "hey!  Otondo!,  come back here".  We all did and the first task was for us to sit on the bare ground..... We did that for close to 20 minutes before they allowed us go only with the condition of carrying that heavy luggage on our heads.  Wicked right?.  They got no mercy on bloody civilians like us.  You think there's more to the welcome party?,  the suffering just began dearie.  That was our welcome party.  Our luggage was checked at the security stand and luckily for us,  we got a bed to sleep...... I was more lucky cos 2 course mates of mine (a lady and I ) was posted to same state.  We did everything together. 
Woke up the next day only to realize the room was more like a lecture hall.  It occupied close to 60 corpers with bunks placed side by side.   The registration procedure was stressful..... Please you don't have to make 50 or 20 photocopies,  all that ain't needed. Make close to 7 photocopies each,  your school I'd card, call up letter,  statement of result/certificate are one of the most important documents needed..... Any other necessary document should be detailed on your call up letter.  You'd use not more than 6 passport on camp.  So just make 14 copies.  I made close to 30 copies of passport and I still have them dwelling in my portfolio(not bad though).
After the registration,  I found myself in platoon 1. Was it FUN? .  yes!!!!!!!  Eeeer no oooo! Seriously speaking,  camp woulda been fun  if we were not forced to do everything.  I wished I could fast forward early morning parades..... Shit!  Twas baaad. 
We were controlled to the extent that once it's 10pm, the light goes off.  The soldiers would go around the hostel to punish/chase erring corpers.  Twas so bad that they didn't even want to see a blink of light. 
Trust me when I say ;This ain't the best caption but then,  can those ladies who plaster their face with makeup on camp tell me why they do that?.  I'm not saying you shouldn't makeup (I'm a makeup artist....  Duuuh! ) but doing things that would perhaps damage your face considering the harsh weather you're forced to stay is totally out of it.  You'd see girls wake up to bath at 4am, then from 4 30am to 5am, they're still painting!......  For who?  Because of why now?  Most annoying is when they wake up with eyeshadow looking so excess on their face turning them to a funny monk. 
I used to be a mammy market customer not until my pocket started dwindling.  Had to make good use of my ticket o but I skipped meals like beans,  yam porridge,  their transparent tea with 1/2 life,  what else?  And yes,  their bread......  Sunday was rice and chicken,  the size of that meat(not chicken)  is enough to remind you that Now Your Suffering Continues (NYSC)  till the next 11 months,  so manage. 
Don't make the mistake of forgetting your face cap Abi na headgear (dey dey call am)  when going for lectures.  That's a 70% guarantee that you'd sleep without disturbance from those men in green multicoloured khaki.  Lecture was boring asides the part where they taught us a song in their language....  Twas fun cos we murdered it in our own way....... All I heard was "who be destroyer?. I no know ",  (I no know was actually meant to be ai lo lo...... Figure out the rest) .....  LOL
Believe me when I say they've got no Atm stand in that camp.  After wasting my time at the car park in Lagos,  I had to withdraw Lil money cos it's not safe travelling with cash around.  The Lil cash I deducted was my saving grace for the first week till the bicycle allowance was given to us.  This is just for all those guys that like spending their money at the beer parlour and on girls.....  You still got a life to live after camp.  I pity you if only you know the kinda life that 1 year stipend, they call allowee would do.
If you want to redeploy,  just prepare the necessary documents needed that would serve as a genuine reason why you should be considered (marriage certificate or doctor's report on health grounds ).   Those soldiers ain't  got nothing to offer when it comes to redeployment,  I've heard stories of how dumb some girls were that they had to open their legs for these men on top redeployment matter.  Please wise up and do what's right o, you might be considered.  If you wanna go through agents that would work it for you...... Pinch your skin  and remind yourself that there are still dubious hungry people in naija......  They'd tell you they know someone in Abuja even when   they don't even have a relative based there let alone a friend.....  Wise up!  I lost 10k to this parole and  a friend of mine  dashed out 30k. She was angry but got more angry when the guy didn't pick up.    A boo oro laa nso fomo luabi (a word is enough for the wise)
ALL SHADES OF ........
Don't be surprised when you realize that you'd  be leaving camp with 2 or 3 shades of skin colour.....  If on a norms,  you always have blackhead, expect a darker shade.  That white shorts during the orientation exercise is just a margin line to giving your leg a beautiful darker shade from your real colour.  Thank God for the weave I wore on camp.  My forehead was secured from the shackles of darkness and brighter than my face sef.....  The bae had to buy my soap and serum before I got back home. 
Your posting letter would be issued to you on the last day,  and those whose redeployment process worked out successfully will find their names on the list.  I was posted to a school,  visited my PPA,  did the necessary documentations and left the third day.   Accommodation wasn't an issue cos church fellowships turned up to assist us.  If your Ppa has a Lodge,  you might be directed to the lodge. 
So how was your camp experience like?,  was yours fun filled from day 1 till the last day? . Please share with me through  the comment box,  I'm so eager to know. 

IF you're posted to ebonyi state:
1. Ensure your shorts don't have side pockets.  
2. No but shorts allowed(you wouldn't want to be disgraced in public) 
3. Withdraw some cash that will be enough to sustain you for a short while.  They got no ATM stand. 
4. Get some drugs to deal with cough..... Cough spreads like shii on camp.  I had cough all through my stay. 
5. Be prepared for the hustle.  


  1. Oh! Wow! You guys have to go through all this stress for what reason again?! To serve the nation for how much?! And Some girls really slept with Soldiers to get re-deployed?! nawa oh! Now daRRis just beyond me.. Biko tell me oh! Is it with Oko they will do the re-deployment?! Some people sha.. heheheh

    Thanks for sharing.. this was a fun read Bubba...

    1. Loool..... For 19800. Believe me when I say some girls are ashawo 1 kobo, those smellos can do anything dumb

  2. Lool my NYSC diary was detailed on my blog but here goes.
    The initial plan was to 'werk' it to Enugu, in fact my mum was already telling everyone I was going there but I told her to stop. Imagine the heartbreak I got when I collected my letter and saw Sokoto!! Ah, me that was still telling my friends in the shuttle that I pity those they'll take to Sokoto.
    I cancelled my flight thrice, but eventually, I went to camp on the third day. The sun?? Jeez, I just broke down in tears and everybody was laughing at me. Thankfully, I met a friend at the airport so we were floor mates (no bunk in Wamakko). I didn't bother with the kitchen food as I came loaded with money and I had guys fighting to buy me food (duuh).
    I was in platoon 8 but the soldier tagged me ajebutter and left me alone.
    Lights out, well, I had a doctor crushing on me so we could stay out till after 10 in front of the clinic star gazing and saying rubbish. Lol
    Yes, I was always falling ill and I came back burnt!!
    My brother gave me head ups about the soldiers so I went prepared.
    Well, eventually, I didn't redeploy, I was posted to the capital but I had it rough in my lodge, anyway it's been 4 months post NYSC!

  3. Wooow! I served in sokoto several years ago a bit fun though but didn't wait an extra day after POP.

  4. Debbbiiieeeee....u jus reminded me of afikpo's morning parade beagle which I hated so much. Loved night activities nd Nccf evening services buh parade ground... No way
    I would hide in d inner room of my room nd tell my Rummies 2 lock me inside. Sometimes, I had 2 use my wrapper as curtain so as not 2 b seen inside or lie on d bed nd surround myself with luggage so that I'll not b noticed.
    I ate most of their meals buh got tired of their beans. Platoon 1 was #arghhhhh#, under d sun we'll stand not allowed 2 even buy sachet water. Swearing in nd pop was hellllll... Arhhhhh Ebonyi camp ehnnnn... Dia ris God o
    Jus enjoyed d water supply aspect. Twas sufficient. It wud av toatally sucked if water was not adequate. Wish new otondos nice stay in Ebonyi camp. D hilly nd stony camp. Prepare 4 boring saed talks nd lectures in that stuffy, old macgregor hall... Mk sure u use their cap as Debbie said cos it aids sweet sleep without disturbance or prepare 2 sit on d floor outside. Nysc a scheme 2 remember.
    Hv fun anyway u can dearies buh b careful.

    1. Looool.... Thanks chemmy. Thought I was the only one. Na platoon 1 suffer pass sef. Loool

  5. Smile! I understand ur plight. Was also in dat shoe in 07/08 in Jigawa State (a new world)