Questions I Don't Want To Be asked In 2016

Hiya!
It's some hours to the new year and I'm just too excited cos I'm thankful for the past 365 days so far. 
I'm sure you have a lot to be thankful to God for.  The fact that you're alive,  hale and hearty is one major reason why you should be.
So you see,  there are some kinda questions some people ask and in your head, you'll  be like "how do I answer this person? " it's better you don't even ask me at all..... In fact,  I just don't want be asked those kinda embarrassing questions in 2016...... Questions like :
1. How is school? : ahmean!  I wrote my final exams in UNILAG since December 2014,started my NYSC in April 2015, do you wish me well at all?....  Most times I don't answer these people who ask me such question but in 2016, if you should ask me "how is school ".  Ah! ,  E nor go funny o.

2. No share From the allowee? : for Christ sake I earn 19thousand, 8 hundred naira.  I choose not to write it in digits so most of y'all don't mistake it for one hundred and ninty eight thousand naira.  Ahmean!  It's not fair.  Bank deducts 200 naira from 19k8 monthly,  how much do I have to survive on? 

3.  When will you get married?.: some  primitive naija minded people assume that when you're through with school and  NYSC..... The next thing for you to plan or think of is to get married. 
Worst of all is when you attend a friend's wedding where most of the older guests  knows you. Ah!  It af be for you. 
Ahahn!  Wattapun!  Please Let God's will be done o.  Biko..... LET God's will be done.  Thank you. 

4. So what next after NYSC? : thank you,  I appreciate your concern..... In fact,  that's a very thoughtful question but please don't ask me if  you don't have a job for me,  dont ask me if you want to hold on to my plans after nysc and watch if I'll make a flaw,  don't ask me if you're not my relative/ mentor/close pal.  Please,  just don't ask me.  Instead ask God.

Any other question?  Have people choked you up with  too many embarrassing questions this year?. Please share them with me in the comment box. 

See you next year darling.
xxx

Lessons 2015 Has Taught Me

It's 5 days countdown to the new year already .  I feel I'm growing older already cos instead if feeling too excited about the new year,  I give myself this  quick flashback on how the outgoing year has been for me. 

It's Christmas Baby

Merry Christmas to you all.  I'm glad we are alive to witness another year of celebrating Christ.
Remember that he is the reason for the season,  that's enough reason for the celebration to be Christlike.
Do have a funfilled day.
A big thanks to my dearest readers, you all are the merry in my Christmas(I can't wait to post lessons 2015 has taught me and I believe 2016 is gon be a lit year for us

) .
I still remain your girl,  Debra.
#kisses

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Let It Out

Call me paranoid but issues like this get to me. Arim calls me heartless for leaving him. After her various pleas asking me to endure,I couldn't. He ripped what I have left called a heart with the stench of that ache. Even if I was going to endure,for how long? Call it trivial but just like rudiments, they make the soup of this relationship taste better. I have

managed to pull through this relationship coated with lies but that ache - oh that ache- broke the camel's back. First it was Iyef,the replacement he got when we had an argument. After three hours of screaming and heated arguments,his joystick needed soothing so he got her. A cleaner he met coincidentally at the cinema where we just had a fight was picked up to clean up the debris of our situationship. Sounds more like she puked over the relationship because things grew really ugly afterwards. Iyef after that night became his friend,how do u explain that? Arim,I endured that,but not this.
    My only escape route in this argument is to remain on the phone; ping someone,poke Ada,tweet at Ejiro,Tag Tola,just remain on the phone else that ache's stench will hit you like a punch in the face. It wouldn't leave you just bleeding,it would also wipe your memory. Gunse has chosen not to understand and I've been trying my best to tone down the 'bluntness'. Gunse is always upset whenever I'm on the phone. He claims it's rude but every girl knows that its an escape route that saves lives. Whenever his gist and jokes are dry,or he's really bad looking, pick your phone and keep texting. He'd shut up and focus. It does the trick all the time except with Gunse. The phone triggers the verbosity in him and worsens the situation. I noticed the sour taste when I kissed him goodnight,some days back. I ignored,hoping that it should come from the previous meal. Truth be told,Gunse kept dropping hints which probably sent the 'stay away' signal but I kept creating excuses for him. A break could have saved us,but NO,we kept pushing. The other day,we went to this great restaurant, after a scrumptious meal,Gunse began to suck his teeth. Initially I thought it was a reaction out of disgust for something,but it wasn't. He was digging deep trying to get this particle out of his teeth. Aina,you saw this and still made excuses. This went on for a week and I kept my calm until this fateful day. He decides to take Rachael to the movies and home afterwards without my knowledge. At the box office,he stares at me as if he had seen a ghost. I was here with my cousin to see this same movie. I ignore him and greet this heavily painted almost naked aunt by his side. I decide to go hone with my cousin after the movie,in peace,but he decides to have a conversation that day. The first statement came out with that spoilt egg mixed with soured egusi sort of smell. Till this moment,I can't remember what he said. All I found myself doing was reaching out for my phone. 
             "Aina,I'm talking and you are still texting..."
I wish I could ask him what that smell was,but I couldn't find the courage to. At one instance when I complained about the smell,he claims he visited the dentist. From that moment,the feigned sweetness stopped. I'm still texting and he begins his unconscious confession;
               "Why won't I go out with Rachael when you are always on the phone?
                Who are you texting when I'm seated here...
                Only God knows if you have been faithful...
" Faithful" was the last thing I remember he said before my outburst;
                 " I have held this for too long
           I can't take it anymore
           I could handle the lies,if they were mimed
           And not spoken from your mouth
           Cos anytime your jaw moves,I become scared
           Pls visit the dentist if you ever want to see me..."
I walked out,shut the door of his car,and life.

Sonia is a student of English, University of Lagos. She loves reading,movies and hanging out with friends. She enjoys scribbling(as she doesn't look at her works as real writings). She could be reached on Chicutie2009@yahoo.com.

Social Media Craze (Series 3 )

I signed up on this platform a year ago or there about and I wasn't so active on it.  Recently,  I just see myself active on the platform cos since I signed up on LinkedIn,  I've been less active.
Do I like LinkedIn?.  No!  I don't like it.  Gosh!  I love LinkedIn..... Maybe cos I've got one of the best connects tho.  LOL.  But seriously,  no hype about LinkedIn .  I love it.  Less show off..... I mean,  no show off.... Jes business minded people sharing posts/ pictures related to whatever is of great/good value to them and of course,  their connects. No silly updates like "chilling in hell'egusi" (Eeeer!  sorry!  I meant elegushi) or "steaming in my jacuzzi"
I love LinkedIn for the fact that:
1. You snoop around,  you're caught: Let me just give you this Lil advice for free.  It's not the best place to stalk on someone.  LOL.  I'm a real G when it comes to stalking..... I got an A grade in stalking without formal education/training.  Loool.  Jokes aside,  you get notified of everything on LinkedIn..... Everything about your connect.....latest updates / info which is  also of great/Lil relevance to either you or your connect. 

2. No Dramas: believe me when I say "No dramas".  Iono if it has to do with the kinda connect one has tho but I've not seen raunchy or illicit pictures of books, car selfie or some jagbajantis stylestyle showoff.  Naah! Haven't and I don't wanna have all that drama on that platform.

3. Everyone's a professional : I've been on LinkedIn with my profile as "a student at University of Lagos "  and then,  this friend of mine called me and jamisi that "ahahn,  Deborah this blog you've taken as part time unstable  job,  you can't even tag yourself as a blogger on a well recognised platform like linkedin. "
With all what she said.... I realized I had to change my profile(I'm lazy when it comes to editing profiles on these platforms .... Does the world care to know bou me through that?. ) .  I feel this is the part LinkedIn makes you categorise your job in a well professionalized manner..... In other ways making it seem posh..  If you're an eleran,  just rephrase it in a posh way..... More like "an expert in butchery".  Duuuh! 

4. No followers, just connects : I'm tired of the follow follow syndrome on some social media platforms.... I jes pray some people don't follow their followers to hell one day #jessayin tho....  Regardless of the fact that you tend to follow some people and they choose not to follow you.  LinkedIn has created the platform in a better way to connect with people of same business platform (or whichever way you term it) with you so you could at least interact better.  I've communicated with few people through LinkedIn (one of which I suspected faked his profile cos I did a follow up on Google.  Trust me I'd pass as an FBI agent  .  Lool).
Conclusively, I'd say LinkedIn is the one of the very best platform  to be.... Less dramas,  no showoffs and for the Android users,  the best way to use your megabyte and gain something (at least vacancy).

Are you on LinkedIn? ..... If you think we need to connect,  my name still remains Deborah Odeniran  :)

Social Media Craze (Series 2)

You're about  to read the next series of "social media craze" and this post is written by amaka.  Gosh!  Her intro on how she signed up on Twitter made me LOL. 
Once upon a time, if you didn't have a Facebook account, you weren't cool. The coolest kids on the block were those who had a Facebook account. Then came a new sensation.  Well! , not like it was new per say but we just had the epiphany and it was called Twitter.

I joined Twitter one fateful Sunday in 2011 after years of displaying stupidity and childishness on Facebook (yea, 2009-2011 was my year of  uploading silly posts  on Facebook) and since there was an unspoken deal that Facebook was for childish people while Twitter was for the mature minds (maybe Deb should talk about this discrimination about which social network is for kids and which is for adults .  LOL), I decided to port so as to join the clique of the  happening bae.
On this day,  while my family was preparing for Sunday service, I was in my room trying to crack the Twitter code (it took time for me to understand how it works) and immediately I figured it out, I followed my friends from the list I had compiled and begged for them to follow me back. It was a big deal o.  The follow back syndrome. 

I was so engrossed that my dad didn't even notice I was missing and so he locked me inside the house and proceeded to church with the rest of the family.
When I discovered what happened, I took my dress off, stretched on the bed and started tweeting away. By Friday of that week, I was baptised into the follow Friday ritual.

Follow/Exclusive Friday Shoutouts
Follow Friday happens on Fridays and here is how it works. There are some folks on Twitter, Twitter Lords, people whose Kingdom is Twitter and whose subjects are the attention whores seeking for validation from the number of followers they have or the number of tweets the have shared, mind you, there are so many Lords, each dominating the niche they carved for themselves and so, depending on how the spirit leads, you can beg them to give you a shout out with the aim of gaining followers or cajoling or even being aggressive out rightly and sometimes I wonder if the amount of Twitter followers one has will translate to cash. What pisses me off is the "follow back or I unfollow" line. Duuh!! Who you be??

There were days when Twitter will be thrown into a frenzy over some bloodcat list... The list could range from the happening babes on Twitter to out rightly foolish things and I keep asking myself how many of the humans of Twitter struggle to have their names written in the ultimate list of life.

So addicted to twitter was I that my phone once fell into the pot of stew I was cooking because I was multitasking.

Kindly Follow Back
As if the list isn't absurd enough, I hear people buy followers and I'm like wooowu... Well, they say it's good for promoting brands but hey, if you like, buy all the followers.  If I don't key into your idea, OYO is your surname oh. The funny part of it is when some people just tweet at you to follow them back even when they aren't following.  That's where Lil fights spring up on Twitter. 

Direct Messages Shenanigans
The DMs, yea, the direct message is another feature that tweeps use for private chats but mostly, they end up setting P(that's what they call hitting on a lady). Recently, I was going through my inbox and I was just laughing out at the stupid pick up lines guys have dropped over the years, pick up lines that are to me, dead on arrival. Truth is, I hardly reply those messages to avoid "see finish" because I've seen tweeps who were in a cordial relationship turned sour share leaked DMs on their time line while the jobless vultures who are ready to feast on them hover around.

Tweetfight
I almost forgot about twitfight.  Just as bad news go viral,  same way twitfight goes viral.  The first second you're seeing it on Twitter,  the next second,  Linda ikeji has saved you off the stress of searching for the next twitfight and then the next minute,  everyone airs their opinion on Twitter.  Twitter is a community where every Tom,  Dick and Harry has something to say. 

Connect
Bad as it is, I've met some nice people outside Twitter albeit accidentally like the shock I got when a lady walked up to me in NYSC camp and was like are you not @xyz on twitter??.. So while I'm not a sucker for online friendship, some people have become family to me.

Complaints
Asides the razzmatazz, twitter is a good avenue to network, make complaints, get traffic reports, get breaking news and so on.
After months of unnecessary deduction from deb's airtel sim and futile efforts from the customer care centre.  Deb's got everything rectified on Twitter after she aired out her mind via this platform. 

Profile
One more thing, your twitter profile should be professional except you are using an anonymous account, then can you use #sexy, #followforfollow #teamchelsea.. That is so juvenile and just so you know, employers now check out potential employees profiles online.

On a final note, change they say is constant and there has been a paradigm shift in which social network the "who is who" is on but if there is one social network that this change hasn't affected and won't affect, it's the 10th planet called Twitter with it's endless drama.

A big thanks to Amaka for taking her time to create this post.  You could connect to us via Twitter. 

Amaka's handle is @hundeyin1
Debra's handle is @debra_olamide

Is there something missing in the above points about this twitter drama and all? .  Let me have your thoughts in the comment box. 

Social Media Craze (Series 1)

Hi darlings,,,, it's been a Lil while yeah?.  Sure your weekend was a great one for you.  Hope the Harmattan ain't so gheghen at your end there?.  The Harmattan here is so intense that I really can't wait to get back home..... 
So we're starting our social media series today and I'm gonna have a featured post from amaka of seyonhundeyin.blogspot.com.ng very soon, you guys should check her blog out,  she's doing a great job there.  She gave a suggestion through her comment in the previous post where I introduced the SM  series and I just couldn't ignore that nice idea cos twas so thoughtful of her to drop that.... ... Between I spoke with her yesterday and gosh! she sounded so great on phone. 
Today's SM craze is gon start with facebook.
Yeah!  Facebook :) .  Big ups to Mark Zuckerberg for this,  he innovated the platform in a small way and it went far beyond what he thought..... Great job innit?. 
Believe me when I say Facebook has and is still the biggest means of connect to old friends / schools mates / course mates and perhaps business partners. 
People have met through this platform and even got married,  I've had the opportunity to meet wonderful friends through this platform (plus those I've not even met one -  on -  one)  but then I feel limits should be applied to everything we do.... So,  below are my views about facebook

What's On Your Mind?
The first thing I see on my time line —>"What's on my mind"  makes me go all "grrrrrrrrrrr"  and I wonder if my friends / followers  really care to know what's on my mind?.
Do they really care ?.... Can they even deal with what's on my mind??.  Wait!  Can they even help or they'd worsen it up with their comments??? ".  Trust me,  My thoughts doesn't need the views of over 500 strangers  but you see,  some people don't give a hoot. LOL.  Those ones who post every  activity going on in their life(LOL ),  the ones who'd post" Elegushi beach innabit ", "I just had an accident,  you people shuu thank God for me"  (so many grammarians on facebook) but wait!  Why summarize it?.... We need the details  in full cos some of your friends will definitely drop a comment of "how did it happen? ",  the one I find so nauseating is, when of all things  to think of while you're sick,  the best thing that's so thoughtful of you to do is upload a post on Facebook telling your friends,  perhaps the ones that care to "please pray for me,  I'm critically I'll " and yes!  They'd attach the location of the hospital address(should in case a thoughtful stranger/ friend from Facebook wanna check on them,  right).
I love it when I see people put up thoughtful posts on Facebook,  more about Nigeria,  political thoughts,  Prayer for Nigeria,  motivational thoughts but the generation of today has chosen to go it's own way. 
Dislike Button  Please
Truth  is "if the dislike button  is installed on Facebook,  I'd make good use of it",  especially for situations where ladies post almost nude pictures of their oranges struggling to pop out of that tight blouse.  I mean what are you liking?.  How does that pass a message across? ..... Funny enough,  raunchy pictures are the ones that has more comments and liiiiikes.  You'd see comments like "I love what I see",  "baby,  you're so hooot"  gosh!.  "baby you're so blessed that you wanna make me go blind".  I see these comments everywhere.

Don't Tag Me
Please don't tag me if I'm not in that picture,  Please don't tag me if you don't know me and perhaps we might never ever meet....
Please don't tag me if you just uploaded a selfie of you in that picture except I photo bombed,  except you're my cousin / sister / date / father / mother......
Please don't tag me if that post is uneducative,  not godly,  not thoughtful,  not motivating..... 

Please don't tag me with 70 more people cos all the comments fly into my notification......

 Please don't tag me to a post that has to do with the hike in fuel price cos my comments wouldn't even reduce the price of garri let alone fuel...... 

Please don't tag me to a picture of you on abs,  that's the one I totally dislike, I don't know you and my comments ain't needed........
Just don't tag me,,,, "thou shouldest not taggeth me" if it's not related to the aforementioned points.

Don't Thank Me
Have you experienced this situation where someone sends a request.  You add the person up and the next thing you see is a notification that this person posted on your wall saying "thanks for accepting my friend request"  or "thanks for choosing me as  your friend".
Why????  Why do we need to start thanking people for accepting your request?. Really?  Am I  the only one who experience this?. 

I Don't Come Online To chat
I wish the inbox message part of Facebook can be selected for specific friends.  I don't do much on Facebook,  I only scroll through my time line,  like posts, I  rarely comment on Facebook except I'm replying comments on my pictures or comment on personal friend pictures.
Spending more time on Facebook is war cos some people assume that your job while you're online is to chat.  Some months back,  I was always on Facebook from 10 am to 4pm  cos I had to upload posts on the page of the company where I work but most people think this bae just came online to play,  reply comments and chat. .... 

At times,  I try to sound nice saying "I'd try to chat with you later,  pls I'm busy at the moment",  the next question I get is busy doing what?.  That question just wanna make me ask this question " does your chat with me increase my account balance? " or "make any impact in my life" .  I'm not against the fact that you meet very cool people on Facebook but can these friends try to be understanding that I don't come online to chat all the time.. If I'd get a company who'd pay me well in terms of being their site Administrator and social media handler,  trust me I'd barely have time replying comments sef cos I'm only making the good use of social media to earn my own money..

Can We Be Friends? 

This is one of the silliest questions I've been asked on Facebook.  You're automatically my friend on Facebook right from the moment I accepted your request... Don't use that means in going further wanting to know more about me.  You wanna know more about me,  please check my profile.  I'm not always less busy to tell more of me to you.  

Why call Me?
Some of my friends complain so much about these Facebook free call thingy.  I've never experienced it and I don't really wanna experience it...... Mostly when you call me during odd hours, that friend won't find it cool with me o.
I'm not trying to make it seem as if Facebook or other social media platform are bad but you could make out something good from it. 

One of the reasons I lost a job early this year was because, during an interview I was asked to give accurate details of the number of friends I have on Facebook,  BBm and Whatsapp,  then followers on Twitter.  The number I gave then was so discouraging especially on Facebook cos I used to be so  choosy when it comes to accepting people's request,  I first screen through your profile before I add you up but truth is if you wanna work more on social media and earn money from those platforms,  you need to have so many friends.... As many friends and followers as possible. Since then,  I need not read your profile,  I just accept as I dey see that request.
A friend of mine told me of how he lost being the blackberry ambassador in UNILAG because he didn't have many friends on Facebook even despite the fact that he had over 1000 friends..... This post isn't intended  to bring out the negativities about Facebook but to create this insight that you could get something doing on social media,  something more impact full and of course meaningful .
So what are those things you've achieved through this platform?.  Are you one of those who met your partner on Facebook?.  Have you gotten pissed off with one of the aforementioned points?.  Do drop your comments,  I really care to know.
Have a lovely week ahead dearies .
I still remain Debra :)

Ghehen -  serious

 thou shouldest not taggeth me -  you should not tag me

Repost: Avoiding the Rush Trap

Happy new month darlings.......
Last year,  I planned meeting a friend at Sweet Sensation. I actually kept him waiting a bit due to traffic. Bike driver got me grumpy that I couldn't wait to get off that thing.Anxiously, I rushed into the eatery, I glimpsed at the already seated customers as I ‘catwalked’ through the hall to get the sight of my friend who I thought should be putting on a straight face after delaying him for an hour. I walked past the already seated-customers and found myself at the reception desk without seeing my friend.As a good actress, I perfected the scene by ordering for snacks.While waiting to collect my balance, I called my friend ASAP to come out from wherever I felt he washiding (thinking there was a secluded place for customers in the eatery). My friend called back and the following conversation ensued between us:Me: hey you! Where’re you? I'm @ Sweet Sensation already.Friend: like seriously? I can't see or find youMe: (rolls eyes, turns and faces d wall* saw the inscriptions on the wall "Tantalizers" *shockedlook*)Oh My God! *ends call*The bottomline is I was meant to meet him @ Sweet Sensation and not Tantalizers.I rushed into the wrong place because1) I was an hour late2)I was eager to meet the friend(because I've terribly missed him)3) I wasn't observant.This happens to many of us in our lives’ journey.We head to the wrong place because we feel time's running out and crappy thoughts from nowhere just screws up.Ain’t getting younger, we think. “I don’t think God even knows I exist” becomes their constant start-up thought and then,anxiously, we tread the wrong path impatiently without being observant.I keep reminding people “it’s not how far but how well.”If I had actually taken my time, and didn't hurriedly step into any random eatery, but carefully observed the walls alone before got to the reception desk, I'd have seen the boldly written inscription. That'd have been enough to make me realize I was in Tantis and not SweetSensation.But nah!My thought line was "I'm late, I hope he's not angry".Most people rush to get there (where they wanna be)because they feel they're disappointing other people.They keep talking "Mom's looking up to me, I'm the 1st son and haven't gotten a job.” “I'm a smart chap, Ishould do YY(cybercrime) for just a shortwhile, get the money, stop the game and set up a biz." Like it’s that possible!Fact is, you might not even get to the reception desk (end of the journey) before you get caught up and by then it’s too late.You could perhaps get to the reception desk and things are messed up already.Trying to re-shuffle it could even end up in an impossible state.Accept that delay the way it comes. I still keep reminding friends every chance I get that "delay ain’t denial."People might give some disgusting looks at you that could make you feel dejected but the creator knows what's best for you. He knows why he caused the delay. Patience still remains the key.My friend still patiently waited even after an hour delay because he knew I was on my way and I'd turn up soon.Why don't you switch those thoughts into positive, optimistic ones by believing God's almost there to unlock the key to your breakthrough?There's a popular saying, "look before leaping", not"rush".It implies you being attentive and mindful of every step you take, not doing things on impulses.God speaks to everyone but only those who are attentive hear him clearly.We should know what we're getting into before committing ourselves.