I'm too pretty, he's not handsome. I'm polished, i'm too sexy, he can't maintain me. That's how Aunty Beauty clocked 50 years old because of her high expectations and pride.
There is no such thing as a perfect relationship, yet when you’re venturing out in the dating world, you’re looking for absolute perfection. While there is nothing wrong with having high expectations for the men you date and eventually get into relationships with, sometimes having too high of expectations can have just the opposite effect of what you’re looking to achieve. Here are 14 signs that your expectations are too high and it’s time to reconsider.
You want you in male form
When it comes time to find a man who you’re willing to date and maybe settle down with for a little while, you’re looking for someone who can mimic you. You want a man who likes the same things you do, has similar career aspirations, has the same exact morals, and has the same future vision. While having similarities is important, you’ll find it’s extremely hard to find a man who is exactly like you. Your expectations are too high if you’re looking for a you in male form.- See more at: http://madamenoire.com/298690/14-signs-your-expectations-are-too-high/2/#sthash.TYksj0IV.dpuf
1. You
want you in male form
When it comes time to find a man who
you’re willing to date and maybe settle down with for a little while, you’re
looking for someone who can mimic you. You want a man who likes the same things
you do, has similar career aspirations, has the same exact morals, and has the
same future vision. While having similarities is important, you’ll find it’s
extremely hard to find a man who is exactly like you. Your expectations are too
high if you’re looking for a you in male form.
All of your past relationships have been short
When you look back and think, you have never really had a long-term relationship. You’ve maybe dated a guy for a few months but eventually things crumbled and fell apart. The reason you may not be able to hold onto a man for a long period of time may be because your expectations are too high. Having too high of expectations can cause all sorts of tension and frustration in a relationship when men who are trying their hardest still can’t please you- See more at: http://madamenoire.com/298690/14-signs-your-expectations-are-too-high/3/#sthash.Pn5bq2Aa.dpuf
2. All
of your past relationships have been short
When you look back and think, you
have never really had a long-term relationship. You’ve maybe dated a guy for a
few months but eventually things crumbled and fell apart. The reason you may
not be able to hold onto a man for a long period of time may be because your
expectations are too high. Having too high of expectations can cause all sorts
of tension and frustration in a relationship when men who are trying their
hardest still can’t please you.
4. Your deal breakers are all superficial
Every woman has those things that she just does not want in a man. Who wants a guy who doesn’t work and plays video games all day? Or who wants a man with no aspirations in life? However, for you, your deal breakers are all extremely superficial. You refuse to a date a man who isn’t at least 6’0 and you won’t date a man who doesn’t have a chiseled body, Biko! (6packs). When your deal breakers are superficial, it’s likely that your expectations are too high. Remember, everyone has flaws, so cut them a little slack.
5. You are looking for a man you can mold
When you go on a date or get into a relationship, you know in your heart and in your mind that you’re looking to mold and change this guy to fit your idea of a perfect man. You purposefully don’t date men who seem extremely stuck in their ways and unwilling to change. When your expectations are too high you do anything and everything you can in order to mold a man to mess perfectly into your wants and needs. Please change the motive of when i date him he'd change his character or stop drinking. The only person that could change him is his mom, and that's when he was still a kid.
6. You
expect dates to go exactly as you envision it
Before a date, you have this
fairytale in your head that plays over and over again. You meet this handsome
man and he’s a gentleman. He’s also everything you’ve been looking for. But
when you do go on dates with these high expectations of a perfect night you’re
often let down. First dates rarely go as planned. Everyone is awkward and just
because things didn’t go super smooth doesn’t mean the evening was a total
bust.
7. You
want a mind reader
You’re one of those women who isn’t
too good at communicating what she feels and thinks. Instead, when you’re
angry, sad, or upset about something, you expect the man in your life to be
able to figure it out all on his own. Women who want mind readers often have
extremely high expectations that not many men are able to surpass, let alone
live up to. Communication is important in any relationship and expecting a mind
reader just won’t fly.
All of your past relationships have been short
When you look back and think, you have never really had a long-term relationship. You’ve maybe dated a guy for a few months but eventually things crumbled and fell apart. The reason you may not be able to hold onto a man for a long period of time may be because your expectations are too high. Having too high of expectations can cause all sorts of tension and frustration in a relationship when men who are trying their hardest still can’t please you- See more at: http://madamenoire.com/298690/14-signs-your-expectations-are-too-high/3/#sthash.Pn5bq2Aa.dpuf
8. You’re
looking for someone to complete you
You are convinced that there is this
one single man out there just waiting for you to find him so that he can
complete you as a person and as a woman. You have this idea that this man is
your soul mate and he’ll be able to fulfill all of your wants and needs. If
this is your true way of thinking, you have a lot of learning to do and you’ll
find yourself nothing short of single. If you’re looking towards someone else
to make you happy, you’ll never be completely happy. Happiness has to come from
within.
9. You
dream of movie and fairytale romances
Fairytales are exactly that, and the
relationships you see in the movies are nothing like the real ones you will
experience. Love and relationships should never be based on fantasy ideas.
Having these ideas in your brain sets you up for failure because when your
relationship isn’t on par, it’s a shortfall and you pawn the relationship off
as being bad or untrue. Your expectations are too high when your brain is
focused on fake and fantasy relationships and love.
10. You’re
looking for Mr. Good on Paper
Even if Mr. Right passes you by on a
daily basis, you don’t pay him a single ounce of attention let alone make eye
contact with him. You’re too busy looking for Mr. Good in Paper, a man who
makes other women jealous and who looks like the ultimate catch because of his
good looks, good job, and good bank account. Instead of opening your eyes a
little and realizing that the one may be right in front of you, your
expectations are too high and you’re blinded by fake reality.
11. Your
expectations haven’t changed
A huge sign that your expectations
are too high is the fact that they haven’t changed from when you first started
dating until now. After dating for months or years, your expectations and wants
from a man should definitely have changed. If your expectations are the same as
what they were two years ago, this is a big clue that you have set them way too
high and even you don’t know how to lower or change them
Your expectations haven’t changed
A huge sign that your expectations are too high is the fact that they haven’t changed from when you first started dating until now. After dating for months or years, your expectations and wants from a man should definitely have changed. If your expectations are the same as what they were two years ago, this is a big clue that you have set them way too high and even you don’t know how to lower or change them- See more at: http://madamenoire.com/298690/14-signs-your-expectations-are-too-high/11/#sthash.Gs4OmEDO.dpuf
12. Personality
comes second
To you, a man’s physical make up and
social status are the most important. You’re not extremely worried that he’s
funny or caring because you just really want a man who can take care of you and
provide for you. The fact is that physical and social statuses will change and
deplete over time, as well a man’s bank account. When a man’s personality isn’t
at the top of your list, not only are your expectations way out of line,
they’re also probably extremely high. When your expectations are too high, you
may find a man with a good job, a nice car, and a nice body, but in the end he
may be extremely disrespectful.
13. You’re
quick to notice a man’s flaws
Instead of looking at the good
things that a man has to offer you, when you’re on a date or in a relationship,
you immediately pinpoint and harp on his flaws. When your expectations are too
high you’re more likely to be able to not only pick out a man’s flaws, but
you’re more likely to dwell on them. Even if this man has tons of good
qualities about him, you’re more likely to nitpick his flaws.
You
speak about a lot of “ifs”
When you’re casually dating a man or
when you’re in a serious relationship, you often speak using a lot of ifs. For
instance, “if you really liked me, you’d take me to Vegas” or “if you really
wanted to get to know each other you’d spend every weekend with me.” Speaking
in terms of ifs shows that in your mind you have these set expectations that
you’re looking for this guy to meet, and when he doesn’t meet them, they come
out in what you say. If you can only think and speak in ifs, your expectations
are too high.
Once you’ve dated men here and there, you’ll find that word will get around that you’re one of those women who has extremely high expectations. In the end, if your expectations are too high, they will inevitably work against you. Instead of men flocking and clinging to you, you’ll find that you’re the one getting rejected.
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