Saturday, 28 June 2014
Friday, 20 June 2014
The Struggle: My Friends Are Married.
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Qualities That Makes Her Stand Out
There is something intriguing and compelling about a girl who lights
up every room she walks in. Is it her style? No. Is it her long flowing
hair? No. Is it her flawless complexion? No. She is quietly confident
and has a way of listening and engaging with people that disarms those
with guards up and causes them to feel important. All eyes are on her,
trying to put a finger on what makes her so radiant. The fact is,
radiance is magnetic and when a group of radiant young women come
together, they can inspire hearts, and do remarkable and lovely things.
1. Self-Worth
She knows that her value is not defined by the opinions of people, but rather by who she is in the One who made her. When she looks into the mirror, she sees a reflection of God’s own image. There is no rare or glittering jewel or metal that could compare with her worth. On this she stands with confidence, never seeking for the approval of people because she has already been approved by God.
2. Trustworthy
Her friends, family and God do not lack confidence or trust in her. She always follows through on a commitments, no matter how small it may seem.
3. Goodness
She is a vessel of joy and kindness, like a healing medicine to the flesh and soul. People are excited when they see her coming and hate to see her go because she always brings life through her words and actions.
4. Work Ethic
She is not known for laziness; she works diligently. Even when the job seems less than ideal, she always works with a cheerful heart and a constant gratitude for the ability to work and provide. This way, her happiness is not contingent on circumstances alone.
5. Self-Discipline
Consistent good habits in her life like getting enough rest, proper nutrition, exercise, spending time in prayer and journaling reflects the commitment to take care of her over-all health. This enables her to care for the people and other priorities in her life more effectively.
6. Nurturing
She nurtures and cares for the needs of not only her family and friends, but those without their own families to lean on. She always seeks for ways to help someone and she does it. She treats everyone with the same love and respect, regardless of their social class.
7. Financially Savvy
She spends a little, gives a little and saves a little. In other words, she knows how to be balanced and treats herself appropriately after paying for the necessities. She blesses others because she has been blessed. She sees where profitable investments can be made and she saves her hard earned money for a rainy day. She is capable to live on her own and does not seek out a man to get her out of financial trouble.
8. Vision
She recognizes that her God-given gifts and abilities should not be taken for granted, but rather are quite profitable and for this she continually gives thanks. She joyfully refines her gifts and uses them strategically to inspire good things through them.
9. Service
Whether it be at the soup kitchen or something as simple as walking the neighbor’s dog to help lighten their load, she knows that serving others makes the world go ’round. It blesses others, but blesses her even more so. She always sees where she can help someone and never turns a blind eye.
10. Dignity
As His Princess, she is always aware that she could be impacting someone’s life. She holds herself to high standards for the way she dresses, speaks and behaves for the sake of her own honor and for the sake of those younger girls who are seeking a role-model. She does not allow temptations to have a foothold in her life.
11. Resilience
Her foundation is solidly rooted in the Divine love of God, therefore she is not easily shaken. She is comforted in knowing that when she is faithful and thankful during trials and hardships, that she will safely come out of the storm even more prepared and sharpened for a spiritual promotion.
12. Fearless
She welcomes the future in all of it’s unknown mystery. Even if she does feel afraid, she does what she has been called to do anyways. Being bold and courageous in the middle of fear has produced great victories throughout history. She always lets her faith be bigger than her fear.
13. Wisdom
She knows that as His royal daughter, the words she speaks comes with great responsibility and impact, even to those she does not know are listening. Therefore she is mindful in habitually only speaking words of wisdom and guidance. Therefore, all who encounter her will be blessed because of her. Gossip, slander, idle talk and negativity are strangers to her lips.
14. Centered in The True Love:
She fears (respects), honors and loves The Lord with all her heart, mind and soul. She knows that she can not be the radiant woman he destined her to be without centering her life around His peace.
15. Discerning
In situations regarding business, friends or relationships, she is discerning in what seems to be a good thing and what is a God thing. She makes decisions based on prayer, guidance from mentors, and scripture.
16. Humble
She knows that pride and ego are the root of disaster or disappointment. She always allows other people to sing her praises rather than bragging on herself.
17. Leads
She counsels younger women with a good listening ear, a compassionate heart and a voice of truth. She inspires others to follow her vision through servant leadership and creativity.
18. Temperance
She moderates her feelings, emotions and alcohol. She is not the girl passed out on the couch at a party, she is the girl picking her up and putting her to bed. She always thinks before she acts and looks before she leaps.
19. Stands for Justice
She speaks up for those who can not speak for themselves. She defends those who are defenseless and she has a heart for restoring justice.
20. Honest
She knows the liberating and healing power in revealing her struggles and shame. She is honest with those who mistreat her, letting them know that she only tolerates respect, just as she respects them.
21. Peaceful
She will confront a situation head-on in privacy. She does not allow conflict to build-up, rather clears it’s toxicity quickly.
22. Mentorship
She is humble hearted and wise in knowing that she will never know everything there is to know. She has a thirst for learning and growing, so she invites advice and sound counsel from solid mentors.
23. Authentic
She is true to herself and always gives credit where credit is due. She cares greatly for her friends and never uses them for selfish reasons.
This list is primarily based on the Proverbs 31:10-31woman, the rest are supplemental wise words from the book of Proverbs. No woman is perfect and believe me, I am not all these things all the time (everyone is liable to have this brain touch once in a while). What would our character and lives look like if we purposefully applied these attributes? Start with one per day, you could even write yourself reminders in your phone or post-its on your mirror to remind you of the woman you can be if you want to be. You were born to stand out.
1. Self-Worth
She knows that her value is not defined by the opinions of people, but rather by who she is in the One who made her. When she looks into the mirror, she sees a reflection of God’s own image. There is no rare or glittering jewel or metal that could compare with her worth. On this she stands with confidence, never seeking for the approval of people because she has already been approved by God.
2. Trustworthy
Her friends, family and God do not lack confidence or trust in her. She always follows through on a commitments, no matter how small it may seem.
3. Goodness
She is a vessel of joy and kindness, like a healing medicine to the flesh and soul. People are excited when they see her coming and hate to see her go because she always brings life through her words and actions.
4. Work Ethic
She is not known for laziness; she works diligently. Even when the job seems less than ideal, she always works with a cheerful heart and a constant gratitude for the ability to work and provide. This way, her happiness is not contingent on circumstances alone.
5. Self-Discipline
Consistent good habits in her life like getting enough rest, proper nutrition, exercise, spending time in prayer and journaling reflects the commitment to take care of her over-all health. This enables her to care for the people and other priorities in her life more effectively.
6. Nurturing
She nurtures and cares for the needs of not only her family and friends, but those without their own families to lean on. She always seeks for ways to help someone and she does it. She treats everyone with the same love and respect, regardless of their social class.
7. Financially Savvy
She spends a little, gives a little and saves a little. In other words, she knows how to be balanced and treats herself appropriately after paying for the necessities. She blesses others because she has been blessed. She sees where profitable investments can be made and she saves her hard earned money for a rainy day. She is capable to live on her own and does not seek out a man to get her out of financial trouble.
8. Vision
She recognizes that her God-given gifts and abilities should not be taken for granted, but rather are quite profitable and for this she continually gives thanks. She joyfully refines her gifts and uses them strategically to inspire good things through them.
9. Service
Whether it be at the soup kitchen or something as simple as walking the neighbor’s dog to help lighten their load, she knows that serving others makes the world go ’round. It blesses others, but blesses her even more so. She always sees where she can help someone and never turns a blind eye.
10. Dignity
As His Princess, she is always aware that she could be impacting someone’s life. She holds herself to high standards for the way she dresses, speaks and behaves for the sake of her own honor and for the sake of those younger girls who are seeking a role-model. She does not allow temptations to have a foothold in her life.
11. Resilience
Her foundation is solidly rooted in the Divine love of God, therefore she is not easily shaken. She is comforted in knowing that when she is faithful and thankful during trials and hardships, that she will safely come out of the storm even more prepared and sharpened for a spiritual promotion.
12. Fearless
She welcomes the future in all of it’s unknown mystery. Even if she does feel afraid, she does what she has been called to do anyways. Being bold and courageous in the middle of fear has produced great victories throughout history. She always lets her faith be bigger than her fear.
13. Wisdom
She knows that as His royal daughter, the words she speaks comes with great responsibility and impact, even to those she does not know are listening. Therefore she is mindful in habitually only speaking words of wisdom and guidance. Therefore, all who encounter her will be blessed because of her. Gossip, slander, idle talk and negativity are strangers to her lips.
14. Centered in The True Love:
She fears (respects), honors and loves The Lord with all her heart, mind and soul. She knows that she can not be the radiant woman he destined her to be without centering her life around His peace.
15. Discerning
In situations regarding business, friends or relationships, she is discerning in what seems to be a good thing and what is a God thing. She makes decisions based on prayer, guidance from mentors, and scripture.
16. Humble
She knows that pride and ego are the root of disaster or disappointment. She always allows other people to sing her praises rather than bragging on herself.
17. Leads
She counsels younger women with a good listening ear, a compassionate heart and a voice of truth. She inspires others to follow her vision through servant leadership and creativity.
18. Temperance
She moderates her feelings, emotions and alcohol. She is not the girl passed out on the couch at a party, she is the girl picking her up and putting her to bed. She always thinks before she acts and looks before she leaps.
19. Stands for Justice
She speaks up for those who can not speak for themselves. She defends those who are defenseless and she has a heart for restoring justice.
20. Honest
She knows the liberating and healing power in revealing her struggles and shame. She is honest with those who mistreat her, letting them know that she only tolerates respect, just as she respects them.
21. Peaceful
She will confront a situation head-on in privacy. She does not allow conflict to build-up, rather clears it’s toxicity quickly.
22. Mentorship
She is humble hearted and wise in knowing that she will never know everything there is to know. She has a thirst for learning and growing, so she invites advice and sound counsel from solid mentors.
23. Authentic
She is true to herself and always gives credit where credit is due. She cares greatly for her friends and never uses them for selfish reasons.
This list is primarily based on the Proverbs 31:10-31woman, the rest are supplemental wise words from the book of Proverbs. No woman is perfect and believe me, I am not all these things all the time (everyone is liable to have this brain touch once in a while). What would our character and lives look like if we purposefully applied these attributes? Start with one per day, you could even write yourself reminders in your phone or post-its on your mirror to remind you of the woman you can be if you want to be. You were born to stand out.
From Comfort Zone to Glory Zone
Let’s be realistic here, God
created us. Fine! The step we take in this life classifies us into a
specific kind of personality that we belong in. There are three types of people
in the world: worriers, watchers and leapers.
Worriers and watchers don't
get much done. They don't take risks because they LOVE the comfort zone. They
come up with excuses. They gather unnecessary information and knowledge. And
they do not reap.
Leapers, however, are
reapers. They have faith. They believe anything is possible. They have a
big-picture vision. They make things happen–they don't
wait for things to come to them. They are very comfortable being uncomfortable. And
(most important) they have mastered what to do when doubt comes along.
I like to call the voice of
doubt “Little ME.” And its job is to
keep you small and prevent you from doing anything that will allow you to step
into your promise and your potential. If you want success and a life of
purpose, you can’t let Little ME bring you down.
Here are three things you can
do when Little ME begins to chatter….
1. Face The Fear. When Little ME comes up with excuses and reasons
about not being skinny enough or smart enough or cool enough, you actually have
to face and engage the fear. If you walk toward the lion, the lion disappears.
So that’s what you do. Instead of crumpling when thoughts like
these pop in, simply turn toward whatever you’re
thinking and remember what you have been called to do. Remember that you are
here for a reason. Shift the way you see yourself. When you shift the way you
see yourself (no matter what Little ME is dishing out), you shift your
experience.
2. Get Super Clear. When your spouse doesn’t
fully understand your desire to grow–and Little ME brings
on the guilt and cloudy-thinking, here’s what to do. You
need to get specific and own what you want. Remind your spouse that this is
your calling. Work with a mentor who has what you want–and
follow exactly what they say to do to get there. It’s
very important for your spouse to know exactly what any investment will be,
what systems will be in place if you need to travel, who you are working with
and what you are getting in return. And trust yourself and the nudges that you
are receiving. You wouldn’t be receiving them if you weren’t
meant to grow and live at a higher and deeper level.
3. Know That Now Is The Time. I see people stopping themselves because
they believe they need another training or need to be further along or need to
be more patient and wait to see what comes along. Here’s
where faith comes in. Faith requires action for it to be faith. Without action,
you’re just wishing and success requires movement. You just
have to take a step before it turns real. Don’t
get into perfection paralysis. You have what it takes right now. You are so
much more ready than you realize. Take advantage of every opportunity to learn
what you can start to do right now to grow. If you don’t,
another year will go by and I promise, you will be right where you are right
now… Is that what you want?
Understanding the voice of
Little Me is a vital part of your journey to success and your dream. Everyone
has a Little Me and it’s going to speak up (often very convincingly) whenever
you try to make a change and grow into who you really are. Just keep on
walking, keep on taking action, and keep on building your faith muscle.
You are the Mirror.
A thought flashed through my mind while
watching a girl so engrossed in checking out herself in the mirror, "how
do I look like to other people?", "what are people's thoughts about
me after they glance at me?".
Fact is, we don't go a day
without looking at the mirror. This' applicable to we as individuals, we meet
people everyday, people see us (including those we don't even know). Our
attitude, character, the way we dress already pictures “who we are” to that
person. You can't be pictured without been viewed, even if someone hasn't seen
or met you, a good description about you is also part of it.
Let's just assume you'd
consciously ignore using the glass mirror/hand mirror or dressing mirror, you'd
unconsciously see that view of you either through the (car) side mirror, rear
view mirror or a window mirror.
We seem like a mirror to
people because we are being viewed daily. People want to see that change in
you, some are checking out for that flaw you'd make.
In every circumstance you
face, first ask and answer this question: Who am I? That is, look deep inside
yourself and discover the values you embrace at the very core of your being.
Define those values personally and live by them uncompromisingly (without doing
it to please anyone). They are your moral center. Your rock. Your anchor.
Secondly, ask and answer this
next question: What do I do well?
From your moral center flows
a functional capacity for excellence. This is the unique ability you possess
that allows you to thrive. It’s your personal tool
box, a set of gifts and talents you can access at any time to solve pressing
problems.
Furthermore, ask yourself if
you're doing the right thing. 
Truth is, we tend to give less attention to
things that ought to be of great concern to us, we take the wrong step by following
the trend of others, because Shade and Cynthia is doing it,"Oh! that's the
way, I'm good to go".
Truth is, we tend to give less attention to
things that ought to be of great concern to us, we take the wrong step by following
the trend of others, because Shade and Cynthia is doing it,"Oh! that's the
way, I'm good to go".
One thing you don't
understand yet is you can't be a mirror if you're imitating someone. Imitating
one leads to limitation, you're restricted to some particular aspects, you
can't go beyond a particular stage you wanna move on to because the person
you're imitating never did that. At times, you could even assume you're taking
a risk in the means of trying to move further than whosoever you're imitating.
I don't see it as risk, I see it as been you.
These dynamics: character and
competence, are the choices you can make to become a mirror person. Character,
your core values, and competence, your unique ability, clearly defined and
consistently deployed allows you to control the one and only thing you can
control in any situation: yourself.
Nobody has the right to
control you, the only personality you should give in to control you is your
"mind". Whatever action that reflects itself outwardly through your
personality is as a result of the general conclusion that has dwelled in your
life.
A lot of us look up to our
role models in terms of living a "a life like them"(in quote). They
are being mirrored cos of that unique lifestyle you figured out in them.
Another reason being that he laid a legacy that you want to follow.
Its not by how many bibles/
qu'rans you have or how versed you are in dealing with the scriptures offhand,
its not by the weekly services or sunday services neither is it by the eye-service
treatment you give others(oju-aye something).
Its by being you, acting the
real you in the right way, standing firm on being you regardless of who so ever
is watching you. Its by being focused on causing a change to reflect a
trailblazer.
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