Friday, 18 March 2016

Common Lies People Tell

I don't think I need to start giving a detailed explanation on what a lie is.  The only part I don't get is where people try to create a different perspective to lie.....
I go all "side eyed" when someone is tryna create the impression of there's white and black lie.  Ehn!  If I hear,  Lie na lie and nothing can change the fact.  In fact all route leads to he'll if you tell a blue,  white,  pink lie.
But let's face reality,  some people get to this particular point or do I call it crossroad where they actually feel the best thing they can do is lie just to avoid the other party from getting angry,  or to please that person.  Truth is,  it doesn't work all the time.  
The part that I really can't accept  is give an obvious lie in public.  Give an obvious lie by telling me you're in front of Unilag gate while I'm waiting for you at the gate meanwhile you're either in that Yaba bus stuck in traffic.   Some people na boss for this aspect.  OK!.... So what are the common kinda lies I've heard so far.... 
1. I'm at Yaba when you know that you're actually in that Lekki transit bus to obalende.  Ah!  Some people are wicked o.  Some will even tell you,  "there's traffic in Yaba,  it's so bad that I might have to board bike" .  Just this question please,  will the person kill you if you are actually sincere that you're on your way to obscene? . 

2. The network is bad..... I'm guilty of this though.... Some people do this for so many reasons,  either to avoid a conversation or claim they dialled your line and the network provider said your number wasn't reachable..... Although our naija network providers could be funny but some lies are just so obviously told.  Take it  or  leave it. I actually do it for 2 reasons,  either I'm not in the mood to talk and a random talkative friend calls or when you start asking me questions that I either don't have an answer for that question or I'm not willing to answer .  I end the call with full hopes that the conversation will at least be cut short and it works.  Lool

3. I changed my line,  thus I lost my contact, yours inclusive : people do that a lot..... I easily know if someone doesn't have my contact or not..... The first response I hear depicts that a lot..... Personally,  I'm  very lazy in odd ways.... Lazy when it comes to saving numbers..... Maybe cos I procastinate  when it comes to that. 

4. Hello!  Hello!  Can you hear me? :this 4th point is actually coming from me or perhaps the general  ladylike mentality..... I totally dislike chokers...... I prefer the choker beads to  human beings who derive pleasure in choking me up.  Actually,  I can hear you but I just don't know how to politely tell you that I'm not interested in your talk. So?

5. The traffic Is terrible : we all know that pinky is to brain as lagos is to traffic.... The gods of traffic in lagos just have a way of doing things on the road,  funny part is when some people get surprised that "ehn!  At this time,  there's no traffic at this location.  Kilo shele (what happened) "..... But then a lot of people just find pleasure in hiding under the claws of traffic.....

I'm not tryna sound perfect though but it's better you say " I'm on my way or closeby " instead of using traffic as a cover up.  It doesn't work out fine all the time.  

So what are the common lies you know or you've been told that were not mentioned in the  aforementioned points  above..... I'll love to hear yours.  Kindly share them with me in the comment box.  


  1. These ones are child's play nah.
    Those that lie in their dead parents name nko? Common with traffic offenders.

    1. Loool. Your response just cracked me up.... Afi child's play. Hehe