Monday, 22 April 2013

The EX situation: how to deal with it.

by Olamide

In life, there's this point in time you realize the reason you come across everyone you meet. Some are there to use you, hurt you, love you, teach you, bring out the best in you, motivate you,make you realize your weakness, strengths, deal with either that weakness or strength in you.

Same goes with relationship (the bf/gf thingy)., the boo boo , lovey dovey honey and those cute sweet rhymes. Yea! Obviously we love that part when the relationship's going sweet, the happiness in it and then suddenly(in Dbanj's voice) Bang! It happened. Ishes sprung up, and you kept wondering (in adele's voice) 'don't you remember the reason you loved me', the once compatible and understanding lovers turned into strangers, the relationship which was an envy to everyone turned sour and the BREAK-UP had to happen.
By the way, moving on seems tough cos it seems as if you're so into your EX and you really find it hard to believe ITS OVER, you realize the person you really loved is gone for real and ain't coming back anymore. It hurts more when you both had same acts, traits, likes*everything*(in terms of music, social life, movies)
Let's be realistic here, the once boo boo aint there anymore buh he/she is now in the list of the ex' shey but deep withn you there could either be this kinda hatred or love. Yea! Either of the aforementioned could happen. But I got rules on how to prove that height of maturity in dealing with your ex.

KEEP THAT FRIENDSHIP ZONE

Yea! He's your ex buh was once your friend before you said Yes or walked up to her. So why turn ota ojiji(strangers) let go*even though it aint really easy* ,and accept the fact that it had to happen cos you guys ain't just meant for each other. This life is too short to keep grudges *just like this yoruba proverb that says 'omi leyan, cos no matter how far you are,we just don't know where we gon end up one day or meet each other* he pings you, drops a message. Pls reply. Dahs not a 6 unit course. I have this close relationship with my ex' *not all* and I still see them as my friends. I remember a time my EX called me during my exams period and I hit him Real hard with a text message, deep down within me I felt bad even though the stupid part of me thought twas the right thing to do at that moment. Grudges, enmity, name it any thing should stop. Learn to be at peace with everyone, your EX especially.

AVOID THE DELETE BUTTON
That act of using the delete button anyhow aint just cool. That shiii kills, there's a tendency for the person to have this feeling of low self esteem(Had an ex who did that to me on all social network, it really took time before I could get over it, I actually had this intense hatred for him that I had to transfer that aggression and delete his bestie on my contact list.)I didn't only lose my EX,I lost a friend too .The delete button screws up that act of immaturity in you regardless of whatever reason you did that.

AVOID GETTING YOUR EX JEALOUS
Now this the part I love most. Why rush into every relationship few weeks after you lost one? Or(is your brain dusty?). I still haven't figured out the reason why people do such. Why don't you just sit back, give yourself this serious break, take your time to discover your flaws*if no one is ready to be sincere with you* work on yourself and hope for the best than rushing into a relationship*all cos the new dude is rich, owns a car or the new bae have unique qualities than your ex*. Believe me EX' are great stalkers, they'll watch you rush into that relationship and mock you when you're out. I had to be strict with myself with this rule of mine after my EX left *that my NEXT YES ' defintely gon my my last YES. My friends think I'm mean or wahver, some said I'd grow bears buh that's cos I know wahs best for me and I'm not just cool with jumping around on guys* aint saying you shouldn't get into another relationship buh Rushing into it *with the aim of getting your ex mad or jealous* aint the best. If you know the guy/bae would result into a serious relationship. Take your time, think 'bou it before heading on it buh if you're actually jumping in just to Pa ironu re*ease off your worries* I'm sorry, that aint cool. You're rushing.

AVOID THE USE OF VULGAR LANGUAGE
That height of stupidity is when after the break-up, you post updates on facebook, twitter, whatsapp, all social networks 'bou your ex. Mr man/Miss, nobody gives a hoot 'bou the ishes of your life, the only compensation you'll get in return is more comments on your facebook status, followers , guys/babes that'll come in disguise to show you love. Must (we) everyone know. You're now single or how does that add the 0 digit to our account. Cos she wasn't fit for you doesn't warrant the fact that you should call him/her a bitch or beast. Haba!

I believe our relationship(s) with everyone generally has a reason as I said earlier on. It helps us to know what we really want, what we don't want and what we should avoid. Cos our relationship with A didn't work out well doesn't mean the one with B wouldn't work out fine. Others are lucky doesn't mean you're ill lucked. The most important thing is discover your self*mostly your emotional stand* before taking any decision.

4 comments: