Feature Post: The Fear Of Being Single

I've be wanting to pen down my thoughts on the Fear of being single for a while now, I just couldn't find the right time, right mood and right frame of mind. Until today...Until This very Minute... Wondering what triggered the thoughts... And then I realized am actually living my fears right now..

Social Media Craze(Series 4)

So,  this platform  is a photo/video sharing  app  .....
Instagram seems to be one of the top social media platform where you find people there for different purpose.  Some are there to upgrade their business audience and of course get clients by showcasing their products or business ,  while some are just there to set P(do I need to explain what setting P means?.) , some are also there to show off. .... Oops!  I need not explain all.  So from my own point of view, below are the different categories of people on Instagram. 

Questions That Turns Me off on a First Date

We tend to meet people everyday either coincidentally or anyhow you can tag it ....  There's this syndrome of first date (meeting the person ) .
Meeting people through this first date / chat determines your interest on how you really want the relationship to be.  Personally,  if I don't get to like you on a first date/

The Beauty of Being an Enterpreneur: Pains & Gains

Being an entrepreneur is not a day's business neither is it rice and beans.  It's something you envision,  imagine and work hard to ensure it turns real. 
I'll try to make this post so real in the best way I can,  especially through the  experience I've encountered so far. 

Questions I Don't Want To Be asked In 2016

Hiya!
It's some hours to the new year and I'm just too excited cos I'm thankful for the past 365 days so far. 
I'm sure you have a lot to be thankful to God for.  The fact that you're alive,  hale and hearty is one major reason why you should be.
So you see,  there are some kinda questions some people ask and in your head, you'll  be like "how do I answer this person? " it's better you don't even ask me at all..... In fact,  I just don't want be asked those kinda embarrassing questions in 2016...... Questions like :
1. How is school? : ahmean!  I wrote my final exams in UNILAG since December 2014,started my NYSC in April 2015, do you wish me well at all?....  Most times I don't answer these people who ask me such question but in 2016, if you should ask me "how is school ".  Ah! ,  E nor go funny o.

2. No share From the allowee? : for Christ sake I earn 19thousand, 8 hundred naira.  I choose not to write it in digits so most of y'all don't mistake it for one hundred and ninty eight thousand naira.  Ahmean!  It's not fair.  Bank deducts 200 naira from 19k8 monthly,  how much do I have to survive on? 

3.  When will you get married?.: some  primitive naija minded people assume that when you're through with school and  NYSC..... The next thing for you to plan or think of is to get married. 
Worst of all is when you attend a friend's wedding where most of the older guests  knows you. Ah!  It af be for you. 
Ahahn!  Wattapun!  Please Let God's will be done o.  Biko..... LET God's will be done.  Thank you. 

4. So what next after NYSC? : thank you,  I appreciate your concern..... In fact,  that's a very thoughtful question but please don't ask me if  you don't have a job for me,  dont ask me if you want to hold on to my plans after nysc and watch if I'll make a flaw,  don't ask me if you're not my relative/ mentor/close pal.  Please,  just don't ask me.  Instead ask God.

Any other question?  Have people choked you up with  too many embarrassing questions this year?. Please share them with me in the comment box. 

See you next year darling.
xxx

Lessons 2015 Has Taught Me

It's 5 days countdown to the new year already .  I feel I'm growing older already cos instead if feeling too excited about the new year,  I give myself this  quick flashback on how the outgoing year has been for me. 

Social Media Craze (Series 3 )

I signed up on this platform a year ago or there about and I wasn't so active on it.  Recently,  I just see myself active on the platform cos since I signed up on LinkedIn,  I've been less active.
Do I like LinkedIn?.  No!  I don't like it.  Gosh!  I love LinkedIn..... Maybe cos I've got one of the best connects tho.  LOL.  But seriously,  no hype about LinkedIn .  I love it.  Less show off..... I mean,  no show off.... Jes business minded people sharing posts/ pictures related to whatever is of great/good value to them and of course,  their connects. No silly updates like "chilling in hell'egusi" (Eeeer!  sorry!  I meant elegushi) or "steaming in my jacuzzi"
I love LinkedIn for the fact that:
1. You snoop around,  you're caught: Let me just give you this Lil advice for free.  It's not the best place to stalk on someone.  LOL.  I'm a real G when it comes to stalking..... I got an A grade in stalking without formal education/training.  Loool.  Jokes aside,  you get notified of everything on LinkedIn..... Everything about your connect.....latest updates / info which is  also of great/Lil relevance to either you or your connect. 

2. No Dramas: believe me when I say "No dramas".  Iono if it has to do with the kinda connect one has tho but I've not seen raunchy or illicit pictures of books, car selfie or some jagbajantis stylestyle showoff.  Naah! Haven't and I don't wanna have all that drama on that platform.

3. Everyone's a professional : I've been on LinkedIn with my profile as "a student at University of Lagos "  and then,  this friend of mine called me and jamisi that "ahahn,  Deborah this blog you've taken as part time unstable  job,  you can't even tag yourself as a blogger on a well recognised platform like linkedin. "
With all what she said.... I realized I had to change my profile(I'm lazy when it comes to editing profiles on these platforms .... Does the world care to know bou me through that?. ) .  I feel this is the part LinkedIn makes you categorise your job in a well professionalized manner..... In other ways making it seem posh..  If you're an eleran,  just rephrase it in a posh way..... More like "an expert in butchery".  Duuuh! 

4. No followers, just connects : I'm tired of the follow follow syndrome on some social media platforms.... I jes pray some people don't follow their followers to hell one day #jessayin tho....  Regardless of the fact that you tend to follow some people and they choose not to follow you.  LinkedIn has created the platform in a better way to connect with people of same business platform (or whichever way you term it) with you so you could at least interact better.  I've communicated with few people through LinkedIn (one of which I suspected faked his profile cos I did a follow up on Google.  Trust me I'd pass as an FBI agent  .  Lool).
Conclusively, I'd say LinkedIn is the one of the very best platform  to be.... Less dramas,  no showoffs and for the Android users,  the best way to use your megabyte and gain something (at least vacancy).

Are you on LinkedIn? ..... If you think we need to connect,  my name still remains Deborah Odeniran  :)

Social Media Craze (Series 2)

You're about  to read the next series of "social media craze" and this post is written by amaka.  Gosh!  Her intro on how she signed up on Twitter made me LOL. 
Once upon a time, if you didn't have a Facebook account, you weren't cool. The coolest kids on the block were those who had a Facebook account. Then came a new sensation.  Well! , not like it was new per say but we just had the epiphany and it was called Twitter.

I joined Twitter one fateful Sunday in 2011 after years of displaying stupidity and childishness on Facebook (yea, 2009-2011 was my year of  uploading silly posts  on Facebook) and since there was an unspoken deal that Facebook was for childish people while Twitter was for the mature minds (maybe Deb should talk about this discrimination about which social network is for kids and which is for adults .  LOL), I decided to port so as to join the clique of the  happening bae.
On this day,  while my family was preparing for Sunday service, I was in my room trying to crack the Twitter code (it took time for me to understand how it works) and immediately I figured it out, I followed my friends from the list I had compiled and begged for them to follow me back. It was a big deal o.  The follow back syndrome. 

I was so engrossed that my dad didn't even notice I was missing and so he locked me inside the house and proceeded to church with the rest of the family.
When I discovered what happened, I took my dress off, stretched on the bed and started tweeting away. By Friday of that week, I was baptised into the follow Friday ritual.

Follow/Exclusive Friday Shoutouts
Follow Friday happens on Fridays and here is how it works. There are some folks on Twitter, Twitter Lords, people whose Kingdom is Twitter and whose subjects are the attention whores seeking for validation from the number of followers they have or the number of tweets the have shared, mind you, there are so many Lords, each dominating the niche they carved for themselves and so, depending on how the spirit leads, you can beg them to give you a shout out with the aim of gaining followers or cajoling or even being aggressive out rightly and sometimes I wonder if the amount of Twitter followers one has will translate to cash. What pisses me off is the "follow back or I unfollow" line. Duuh!! Who you be??

There were days when Twitter will be thrown into a frenzy over some bloodcat list... The list could range from the happening babes on Twitter to out rightly foolish things and I keep asking myself how many of the humans of Twitter struggle to have their names written in the ultimate list of life.

So addicted to twitter was I that my phone once fell into the pot of stew I was cooking because I was multitasking.

Kindly Follow Back
As if the list isn't absurd enough, I hear people buy followers and I'm like wooowu... Well, they say it's good for promoting brands but hey, if you like, buy all the followers.  If I don't key into your idea, OYO is your surname oh. The funny part of it is when some people just tweet at you to follow them back even when they aren't following.  That's where Lil fights spring up on Twitter. 

Direct Messages Shenanigans
The DMs, yea, the direct message is another feature that tweeps use for private chats but mostly, they end up setting P(that's what they call hitting on a lady). Recently, I was going through my inbox and I was just laughing out at the stupid pick up lines guys have dropped over the years, pick up lines that are to me, dead on arrival. Truth is, I hardly reply those messages to avoid "see finish" because I've seen tweeps who were in a cordial relationship turned sour share leaked DMs on their time line while the jobless vultures who are ready to feast on them hover around.

Tweetfight
I almost forgot about twitfight.  Just as bad news go viral,  same way twitfight goes viral.  The first second you're seeing it on Twitter,  the next second,  Linda ikeji has saved you off the stress of searching for the next twitfight and then the next minute,  everyone airs their opinion on Twitter.  Twitter is a community where every Tom,  Dick and Harry has something to say. 

Connect
Bad as it is, I've met some nice people outside Twitter albeit accidentally like the shock I got when a lady walked up to me in NYSC camp and was like are you not @xyz on twitter??.. So while I'm not a sucker for online friendship, some people have become family to me.

Complaints
Asides the razzmatazz, twitter is a good avenue to network, make complaints, get traffic reports, get breaking news and so on.
After months of unnecessary deduction from deb's airtel sim and futile efforts from the customer care centre.  Deb's got everything rectified on Twitter after she aired out her mind via this platform. 

Profile
One more thing, your twitter profile should be professional except you are using an anonymous account, then can you use #sexy, #followforfollow #teamchelsea.. That is so juvenile and just so you know, employers now check out potential employees profiles online.

On a final note, change they say is constant and there has been a paradigm shift in which social network the "who is who" is on but if there is one social network that this change hasn't affected and won't affect, it's the 10th planet called Twitter with it's endless drama.

A big thanks to Amaka for taking her time to create this post.  You could connect to us via Twitter. 

Amaka's handle is @hundeyin1
Debra's handle is @debra_olamide

Is there something missing in the above points about this twitter drama and all? .  Let me have your thoughts in the comment box. 

Repost: Avoiding the Rush Trap

Happy new month darlings.......
Last year,  I planned meeting a friend at Sweet Sensation. I actually kept him waiting a bit due to traffic. Bike driver got me grumpy that I couldn't wait to get off that thing.Anxiously, I rushed into the eatery, I glimpsed at the already seated customers as I ‘catwalked’ through the hall to get the sight of my friend who I thought should be putting on a straight face after delaying him for an hour. I walked past the already seated-customers and found myself at the reception desk without seeing my friend.As a good actress, I perfected the scene by ordering for snacks.While waiting to collect my balance, I called my friend ASAP to come out from wherever I felt he washiding (thinking there was a secluded place for customers in the eatery). My friend called back and the following conversation ensued between us:Me: hey you! Where’re you? I'm @ Sweet Sensation already.Friend: like seriously? I can't see or find youMe: (rolls eyes, turns and faces d wall* saw the inscriptions on the wall "Tantalizers" *shockedlook*)Oh My God! *ends call*The bottomline is I was meant to meet him @ Sweet Sensation and not Tantalizers.I rushed into the wrong place because1) I was an hour late2)I was eager to meet the friend(because I've terribly missed him)3) I wasn't observant.This happens to many of us in our lives’ journey.We head to the wrong place because we feel time's running out and crappy thoughts from nowhere just screws up.Ain’t getting younger, we think. “I don’t think God even knows I exist” becomes their constant start-up thought and then,anxiously, we tread the wrong path impatiently without being observant.I keep reminding people “it’s not how far but how well.”If I had actually taken my time, and didn't hurriedly step into any random eatery, but carefully observed the walls alone before got to the reception desk, I'd have seen the boldly written inscription. That'd have been enough to make me realize I was in Tantis and not SweetSensation.But nah!My thought line was "I'm late, I hope he's not angry".Most people rush to get there (where they wanna be)because they feel they're disappointing other people.They keep talking "Mom's looking up to me, I'm the 1st son and haven't gotten a job.” “I'm a smart chap, Ishould do YY(cybercrime) for just a shortwhile, get the money, stop the game and set up a biz." Like it’s that possible!Fact is, you might not even get to the reception desk (end of the journey) before you get caught up and by then it’s too late.You could perhaps get to the reception desk and things are messed up already.Trying to re-shuffle it could even end up in an impossible state.Accept that delay the way it comes. I still keep reminding friends every chance I get that "delay ain’t denial."People might give some disgusting looks at you that could make you feel dejected but the creator knows what's best for you. He knows why he caused the delay. Patience still remains the key.My friend still patiently waited even after an hour delay because he knew I was on my way and I'd turn up soon.Why don't you switch those thoughts into positive, optimistic ones by believing God's almost there to unlock the key to your breakthrough?There's a popular saying, "look before leaping", not"rush".It implies you being attentive and mindful of every step you take, not doing things on impulses.God speaks to everyone but only those who are attentive hear him clearly.We should know what we're getting into before committing ourselves.

NYSC Orientation Camp Experience : EBONYI State

I wouldn't forgive myself if I don't upload the crazy  experience I had at the NYSC orientation camp,  afikpo North,  Ebonyi state to be precise(LOL). .
My experience at the orientation camp  is just to let you know reality and get you off the fairy tale /liesssssss that "orientation camp is fun ". 
Yes!  Orientation camp could be fun in Lagos,  Ogun,  Oyo ,  Abuja,  I heard of portharcourt and Akwa Ibom(dunno how genuine the info is) . 
If you think same is applied to ebonyi state,  scratch that off your head and get geared up for the opposite part of fun. 
The opposite part of fun woulda been better only if the military men didn't  pour Sandsand in someone's garri. 
I'd give you details on the little research I made before camp, how my 21 days experience during the orientation was and life after campaign .

Research
I was surprised when my friend actually told me I was posted to ebonyi (cos I was busy at work) ......  I totally forgot that place existed,  thank God for the state and capital recitation I did back then in primary school (sure we all recited that.  LoL).  Next thing I did was make findings on the distance from Lagos to ebonyi. 
I was born and bred in lag,  my first trip to the east shouldn't be a terrific one.  I Learnt it's a 9 hour journey to afikpo North,  It's OK for a road trip I thought but that was just one of those lies.  The estimated distance from lagos to ebonyi is 10 -  12 hours (Roger that!).  It all depends on the driver cos mine stopped at almost every T  Junction asking for the right direction.  That day was something else. 
For first timers,  I'd advice you go to the nearest Park and check out for Okeyson (I wasn't paid to do this ).  Trust me,  they have a park close to the NYSC camp and might consider driving  you to the orientation camp if majority of the occupants in the bus are prospective corpers.  Left lagos past 9am, got to ebonyi state some few minutes past 11pm.

Welcome Party
We were so famished and tired to the mouth that as we struggled to drag our luggage,  we totally ignored the military men at their security stand(Did we even see them? ).  That was the biggest mistake ever. The next thing I heard was "hey!  Otondo!,  come back here".  We all did and the first task was for us to sit on the bare ground..... We did that for close to 20 minutes before they allowed us go only with the condition of carrying that heavy luggage on our heads.  Wicked right?.  They got no mercy on bloody civilians like us.  You think there's more to the welcome party?,  the suffering just began dearie.  That was our welcome party.  Our luggage was checked at the security stand and luckily for us,  we got a bed to sleep...... I was more lucky cos 2 course mates of mine (a lady and I ) was posted to same state.  We did everything together. 

DAY 1
Woke up the next day only to realize the room was more like a lecture hall.  It occupied close to 60 corpers with bunks placed side by side.   The registration procedure was stressful..... Please you don't have to make 50 or 20 photocopies,  all that ain't needed. Make close to 7 photocopies each,  your school I'd card, call up letter,  statement of result/certificate are one of the most important documents needed..... Any other necessary document should be detailed on your call up letter.  You'd use not more than 6 passport on camp.  So just make 14 copies.  I made close to 30 copies of passport and I still have them dwelling in my portfolio(not bad though).

PLATOON
After the registration,  I found myself in platoon 1. Was it FUN? .  yes!!!!!!!  Eeeer no oooo! Seriously speaking,  camp woulda been fun  if we were not forced to do everything.  I wished I could fast forward early morning parades..... Shit!  Twas baaad. 

LIGHTS OUT!
We were controlled to the extent that once it's 10pm, the light goes off.  The soldiers would go around the hostel to punish/chase erring corpers.  Twas so bad that they didn't even want to see a blink of light. 

Why?
Trust me when I say ;This ain't the best caption but then,  can those ladies who plaster their face with makeup on camp tell me why they do that?.  I'm not saying you shouldn't makeup (I'm a makeup artist....  Duuuh! ) but doing things that would perhaps damage your face considering the harsh weather you're forced to stay is totally out of it.  You'd see girls wake up to bath at 4am, then from 4 30am to 5am, they're still painting!......  For who?  Because of why now?  Most annoying is when they wake up with eyeshadow looking so excess on their face turning them to a funny monk. 

KITCHEN
I used to be a mammy market customer not until my pocket started dwindling.  Had to make good use of my ticket o but I skipped meals like beans,  yam porridge,  their transparent tea with 1/2 life,  what else?  And yes,  their bread......  Sunday was rice and chicken,  the size of that meat(not chicken)  is enough to remind you that Now Your Suffering Continues (NYSC)  till the next 11 months,  so manage. 

LECTURES
Don't make the mistake of forgetting your face cap Abi na headgear (dey dey call am)  when going for lectures.  That's a 70% guarantee that you'd sleep without disturbance from those men in green multicoloured khaki.  Lecture was boring asides the part where they taught us a song in their language....  Twas fun cos we murdered it in our own way....... All I heard was "who be destroyer?. I no know ",  (I no know was actually meant to be ai lo lo...... Figure out the rest) .....  LOL

BE MONEY CONSCIOUS
Believe me when I say they've got no Atm stand in that camp.  After wasting my time at the car park in Lagos,  I had to withdraw Lil money cos it's not safe travelling with cash around.  The Lil cash I deducted was my saving grace for the first week till the bicycle allowance was given to us.  This is just for all those guys that like spending their money at the beer parlour and on girls.....  You still got a life to live after camp.  I pity you if only you know the kinda life that 1 year stipend, they call allowee would do.

REDEPLOYMENT
If you want to redeploy,  just prepare the necessary documents needed that would serve as a genuine reason why you should be considered (marriage certificate or doctor's report on health grounds ).   Those soldiers ain't  got nothing to offer when it comes to redeployment,  I've heard stories of how dumb some girls were that they had to open their legs for these men on top redeployment matter.  Please wise up and do what's right o, you might be considered.  If you wanna go through agents that would work it for you...... Pinch your skin  and remind yourself that there are still dubious hungry people in naija......  They'd tell you they know someone in Abuja even when   they don't even have a relative based there let alone a friend.....  Wise up!  I lost 10k to this parole and  a friend of mine  dashed out 30k. She was angry but got more angry when the guy didn't pick up.    A boo oro laa nso fomo luabi (a word is enough for the wise)

ALL SHADES OF ........
Don't be surprised when you realize that you'd  be leaving camp with 2 or 3 shades of skin colour.....  If on a norms,  you always have blackhead, expect a darker shade.  That white shorts during the orientation exercise is just a margin line to giving your leg a beautiful darker shade from your real colour.  Thank God for the weave I wore on camp.  My forehead was secured from the shackles of darkness and brighter than my face sef.....  The bae had to buy my soap and serum before I got back home. 

LIFE AFTER ORIENTATION CAMP
Your posting letter would be issued to you on the last day,  and those whose redeployment process worked out successfully will find their names on the list.  I was posted to a school,  visited my PPA,  did the necessary documentations and left the third day.   Accommodation wasn't an issue cos church fellowships turned up to assist us.  If your Ppa has a Lodge,  you might be directed to the lodge. 

So how was your camp experience like?,  was yours fun filled from day 1 till the last day? . Please share with me through  the comment box,  I'm so eager to know. 

P.S

IF you're posted to ebonyi state:

1. Ensure your shorts don't have side pockets.  

2. No but shorts allowed(you wouldn't want to be disgraced in public) 

3. Withdraw some cash that will be enough to sustain you for a short while.  They got no ATM stand. 

4. Get some drugs to deal with cough..... Cough spreads like shii on camp.  I had cough all through my stay. 

5. Be prepared for the hustle.  

Hello Challenge

Last week,  I'm sure most of us noticed the hello challenge trending on social media especially on Twitter.....  Twas so hilarious reading the response of those pranked.
I couldn't watch myself carry last on the #hellochallenge craze(LOL),  so I decided to give it a try.....
I did it last week( I guess) of which I screen grabbed and posted on Instagram.
If you ain't following me on IG,  please do.  I'm less active on Twitter though but both handles are @debra_olamide
So as I was saying (LOL),  Flore acted like a typical African lady but kel made it more fun...... I was laughing,  laughed real hard when I saw his call...... Nigga had to do a Lil checkup on me. 
Loool...... You tried the hello challenge?.  Who did you try it with? How was yours like? Hit the comment box and share with me......
Please if you're a blogger, kindly  drop the link to your site address.  I'd love to read through your blogs too :) .